


uncover me now (don’t let me hide)

by littleheavens



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Actor!jihoon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Daehwi tries playing matchmaker, Deephwi is mentioned in passing... squint and you'll miss it!, Dense Boys Being Dense, M/M, Ong and Youngmin are lowkey gossip aunts, Ong is just here for a good time, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-16 00:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13625166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleheavens/pseuds/littleheavens
Summary: Park Jihoon had said goodbye to the idol life a long time ago and has never really looked back since. As an actor, he is happy with where he is today.That is, until he ends up going back to where he came from, and meeting Park Woojin in the process.





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goldavn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldavn/gifts).



> i hope i managed to write something in the lines of what you wanted.  
> i had a lot fun with this, so i hope you will too! ♡ it's been so long since i published anything, this is kind of nerve-wrecking but exciting at the same time. forgive me for any errors that may occur, and feel free to point them out.
> 
> tl;dr  
> me: yea idk i'll just ease myself back into this  
> also me: throws in 25k words of 2park 2parking

It starts a little something like this:

“I’m doing  _what_.”

His manager raises a skeptical eyebrow at him. “You heard me the first time.”

“An idol program,” he deadpans, “an idol program when I, an actor—” the young man nearly begins his tirade, but gets cut off when the manager clicks his tongue.

“Jihoon,” the man says, “please don’t try to reason with me. It’s just what the company thinks is beneficial for you. They think it’s a good opportunity. Don’t shoot the messenger.” Then, his gaze softens. “I’m sorry. It’s just what they told me,” he adds quietly before turning on his heel and making his way to leave. “Just give it a thought.”

The door closes with a soft  _click_ , followed by silence.

Park Jihoon is, in fact, having none of this.

At the age of 22, he’s become one of Korea’s most beloved rising actors.  _Sure_ , he’s no Lee Jongsuk or even Seo Kangjoon ( _yet_ , he tells himself), but it’s doable. More than doable, actually. He gets enough roles to keep busy and to keep building his popularity with the general public. His latest drama has been doing pretty well, and Jihoon is well aware of the fact it’s brought him a horde of new fans in the process. Which, according to his company, is the perfect opportunity to send him on a damn  _idol program_.

Truth is, he’s left the whole idol business behind a long time ago. Having trained with SM Entertainment for a good three years before ending up in Maroo and debuting with five others boys that he, thinking back on it, didn’t know all that well or wasn’t particularly close with in the beginning — it was bound to end up in shambles.

Their group disbanded after nearly a year of promoting. It wasn’t their own fault, really. It was bad management which led to low popularity which caused even worse management. So they called it quits, severed their contracts, and parted ways. It had happened quietly, like a candle burning out. Jihoon had actually been sad about it too back when it happened, because he had finally started to enjoy it and grow closer to his own members. Of course it had hurt for other reasons too, but no one really likes bringing up the topic of crushed dreams.

After that he had just decided that the idol life just wasn’t meant for him. At the same time, though, he was still Park Jihoon, and he never would have forgiven himself if he had given up this easily.

Which brings him to where he is now. _Acting_. It had been a passion since he was young, too. His fair share of theatre club experience in middle school combined with his mother always teasing him for his dramatics but being his main pillar of support regardless pushed him into trying out for an acting agency a few months after his idol dream collapsed in on itself. And this time, things worked out. It wasn’t easy, the numerous auditions to even get his career off the ground, but it  _did_  end up just fine. Acting was something he knew how to do, something that felt like a second nature to him.

It had been a few years since he last stood on a stage that wasn’t meant for press conferences or award ceremonies.

Until now, apparently.

 _An eight week idol training program_ , the sheet his manager brought in earlier reads. The black on white letters aren’t anything special, but Jihoon is starting to feel like this is some elaborate joke the universe is pulling on him.

It’s not like he can back out. Well, he  _could_ if he just tried hard enough to reason with the company, but there’s a stubborn voice in his head that keeps nagging at him to just accept it instead.

He weighs the possibilities, the pros and contras. In the end, he just sighs in defeat.

What the  _hell_ is he supposed to do?

 

 

This, as always, is the point where he needs someone to talk some sense into him.

 _“KBS’ new reality program 'Boy Next Door' focuses on bringing together media figures from different entertainment branches and turning them into temporary idols. As a continuation after the success of Idol Drama Operation Team and Sister’s Slam Dunk, the participants will get a chance to get a full experience of the life of an idol. After much consideration, we would like actor Park Jihoon to...”_ Daehwi trails off, raising a single eyebrow and looking up at Jihoon.

In times of trouble, there is always Lee Daehwi. Daehwi has been basically the only constant in Jihoon’s life for a long, long time. They had trained together since the moment Jihoon stepped foot into Maroo, Daehwi having been there a little longer than him. After their little group disbanded, their youngest was the only one Jihoon really kept in close contact with. He still hears from the others sometimes — they still have a group chat but it’s barely active. Daehwi, however, stuck by Jihoon, and Jihoon stuck by Daehwi.

Contrary to Jihoon, idol life did seem to work out for the younger. Shortly after Jihoon had joined his current agency Daehwi had informed him that he’d passed the audition for Brand New Music, who would be debuting their first ever idol group that same year. And so it went, Daehwi debuting with a group that became  _much_  more successful than he could have ever dreamed of while Jihoon slowly got entangled into the world of acting.

Now, the younger boy is sitting across him in a café near his company building, info sheet in both hands and a incredulous look on his face. Jihoon and his frantic texting habits had gotten the best of him yet again and Daehwi, being the quiet force in life that he is, had agreed to meet up with him to discuss all of this the same night.

“I need help,” Jihoon deadpans.

“I guess you really do,” Daehwi simply answers. “When is the last time you even... like...  _danced_?”

Jihoon rubs his hand all over his face before sighing. “When did we disband, Daehwi?”

A beat of silence. Daehwi drinks from his cup. “2015, I think?”

“2015, then,” Jihoon says and lets out a hollow laugh.

It’s not even a lie, even though Jihoon had loved dancing. Adored it, even. But after the whole boy group fiasco Jihoon had painfully decided to bid it farewell. He admits it to himself, that he misses it. And yet he never really looked back. Maybe he  _had_  given up on some things too easily, but by the time he’d realised that he had felt like it was too late.

Across from Jihoon, Daehwi heaves a deep sigh and rubs his temples. “Tell you what. Just go to that meeting, check it out. If you really don’t want to do it, I’m sure you can persuade your management into pulling you out of it. No one can resist your killer pout.”

“Except for you,” Jihoon retorts, but his tone is light.

“Except for me, yes. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to help you if you need it. You’re my friend and I have connections, you know.”

Jihoon shrugs and flicks his wrist in dismissal. “Sure thing.” It's a casual, nonchalant response, but in his head he’s already wondering how he’s ever going to repay the younger for this. “So I check it out, then what? I still lost like all my dancing skills, and I was never the best singer.”

“I doubt it’s going to be as bad as you think,” Daehwi muses quietly, to which the actor merely shrugs. He knows Daehwi is right; dancing had been a big part of his life when he was an idol, but Jihoon already came up with every possible doomsday scenario over this whole _Boy Next Door_  issue.

“And besides, we’ll figure something out,” he adds, and Jihoon obviously believes him. He would believe in Daehwi regardless of what he's saying, but there’s something in the younger’s tone that gives Jihoon the reassurance he needs this very moment.

Closing his eyes momentarily and nodding, he completely misses the mischievous glint in the younger’s eyes.

 

* * *

 

On the 25th of the month, Jihoon attends the first briefing of the program. He heaves the biggest sigh of relief probably known to mankind the moment he sees not one, not two, but  _three_  familiar faces. And to top it off: they're part of the  _cast_.

Ong Seongwoo is an old acquaintance Jihoon has worked with a few times. He’s a nice guy, a little loud, but a good person nonetheless. He’s part of an idol group of actors that release a song every now and then. Jihoon is kind of jealous, seeing how Seongwoo seems to have the best of both worlds, but instead of letting those feelings linger he focuses on how genuinely happy Seongwoo seems to be seeing Jihoon again.

Then there’s Hyungseob, who is an idol-turned-actor. A sweet kid and Jihoon’s age, so maybe not really a kid, but he’s too kind for his own good and looks really young. They have a few things in common, but they aren't very close.

Lastly there’s Yoo Seonho, who seems to be clinging to Hyungseob like his life depends on it. He’s a variety star, actually. No idol experience that Jihoon knows of. They’ve met on a few programs before, and have some friends in common as well. Seonho is definitely made for variety if Jihoon is being honest, so it’s no surprise he’s here.

The meeting goes unexpectedly quite well despite Jihoon’s intestines feeling like they’re about to jump out of his body from stress. He doesn’t even knowwhy he’s so stressed. He can’t even tell if it’s good or bad stress, it’s just stress. Like when you’re supposed to go in for a life changing exam, or something like that.

(Maybe, just maybe, it’s his mind telling him that his heart has long since decided on this matter. Jihoon has always told himself to never  _ever_ venture near the idol scene again, but his heart knows better. His heart knows it still aches every now and then when he sees idol groups perform on television or at award shows. His heart knows he kind of misses it, no matter how shitty it felt back then, no matter how high he’s built his walls.)

So, at the end of the day, he decides. The contract with the arrangement is in front of him on the wooden table.  _Eight weeks_. He glances at his manager on the other side of the room, who gives him a nonchalant shrug to lighten the mood. And then, two thumbs up and an encouraging smile.

Whatever, fuck it. He grabs the pen and signs, fully realising he’s utterly and truly, well,  _screwed_.

 

 

This is where Park Woojin comes in.

Park Woojin is Daehwi’s bandmate and pretty much the younger's other half, brother, et cetera. Jihoon has never gotten to meet him formally despite Daehwi's attempts, which is why Jihoon has to pull the receiver away from his ear and look at his phone to make sure he’s not being prank-called.

“You want me to  _what_. Woojin is  _what_ ,” he sputters once he’s made sure it is actually Daehwi on the phone. Jihoon had sent him a text earlier telling him he’d signed the contract for the program, to which Daehwi had called him up about an hour and a half after blatantly leaving him on read. Great.

A deep sigh comes from the other end of the line. “I said I asked Woojin if he wants to help you with the whole idol program thing,” Daehwi says matter-of-factly, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. Maybe it is, but Jihoon can’t tell himself that right now.

“And he said yes?” Jihoon needs basically all his willpower to not stress-shriek into the receiver and accidentally damage Daehwi’s hearing or get complaints from the neighbours. “Who  _says_  I need help!”

“Well, technically, you did a few days ago. And if your key-smashing earlier was anything to go by...” the younger trails off before clearing his throat.

Okay, so. Yeah. Jihoon  _may_  have sent him a  _slightly_  (just slightly) (not very slightly) distressed text that went a little like: “I Signend THE damn CONTEACT!!!!!!!!!! FUkc!!!!!!!!!!!!  _HELP Me!,? mistake.”_

(Which is why Jihoon kind of understands why he was left on read just in case Daehwi was calling the authorities to report a potential stress-induced death. But anyway.)

Jihoon has nothing to say to that. Because this...This is way, way worse. For a few reasons yet untold.

“Either way,” Daehwi continues, “he said he wants to see what he can do. We finished promotions some time ago so we’re on break anyway. Your recordings start in like two weeks, right? I’m pretty sure we can arrange something.”

“ _Okaaaay…_ ” Jihoon says meekly because what else is there to say. Except, you know, the fact Jihoon had major thirst crush on the guy from the few times he’s seen him perform and that he is more than aware of the fact Daehwi knows this. Not only is Woojin hot, he seems like a genuine good person too. Daehwi doesn't get close with bad people by default, but Woojin,  _wow_. He'd rather disappear than face that guy and having to enter the dangerous territory that is Daehwi's groupmate.

But there’s nothing he can do about it. Daehwi might be immune to Jihoon’s killer-pout but Jihoon is in no way immune to Daehwi’s ways of persuading people. No wonder he has ‘connections’. “You really live to see me suffer, don't you?”

“Of course, hyung,” the younger giggles. “I have to go now. Talk to your company and then get in touch with Woojin! Byeeeeeeeee!” he yells before hanging up without letting Jihoon have any last word in the matter. Typical.

“How am I even supposed to do that—” he starts, but the line has already gone dead. Before he can even pocket his phone it buzzes again. A new text message, with the only contents being a phone number.

Then, another text. “You can thank me later :-)”

Honestly? Screw Lee Daehwi.

 

* * *

 

Much to his dismay, the company is loving the idea. They think it’s rather perfect, having Woojin help him out. Even more so, they were even  _happy_ about it. Something about good company connections and all that, although Brand New won’t even be directly involved and it's more like a _friends_ thing despite Jihoon having to ask for permission. But Jihoon doesn’t  _do_  business, especially not to that degree, so he lets his superiors blabber on about it while he just politely nods at the times he feels like it's appropriate to.

After meeting Daehwi, Jihoon had told his manager about the idea, who then told the representative who told the vice-president who told the CEO who told the vice-president to tell Jihoon to come meet with him for further discussions. That in itself is a miracle because Jihoon rarely gets called into meetings with his higher-ups unless it’s really serious which, in this case, he doesn’t think it is. But three days later he wears his best shirt and dress pants and makes his way to the company building.

“Thanks again, Mr. Yoon,” Jihoon says to his manager after the meeting is over and they're making route to Jihoon’s apartment complex.

“ _Please_ ,” his manager all but pleads for what is probably the 100th time since he started on the job almost a year ago, “I’m just Jisung. You spend more time with me than you do with anyone else, so lets drop the formalities in private. I’ve told you this.”

Jihoon grins at that. At this point he’s well aware of that, but it’s fun seeing the older splutter. Jisung is what others probably consider  _old_ , but for a manager he’s actually quite young. He had always worked in the industry, so he knows what he’s doing. After finishing his military service last year he’d applied for a position within the company and well, here he is.

“Sure thing, hyung,” Jihoon waves his hand in a nonchalant motion, still smiling. “You know I’m just playing around, right?”

Jisung narrows his eyes at him and then lets out a low whine behind the wheel. “Formalities makes me feel so  _old_ , Jihoonie.”

 _It’s because you are_ , Jihoon wants to joke, but he might get kicked out in the middle of the street before they even reach his neighbourhood. It would be a very Jisung thing to do, although Jisung has a heart made of gold.

“You know,” Jisung starts when it's been quiet for a while except for the radio playing, “I think the company was so lenient with your offer to let someone help you because they didn’t expect you to even agree to do the program in the first place.”

The actor raises an eyebrow. “It’s not like I had a choice but to join, really.”

“We both know that’s not true, Jihoon. You’re like…” He momentarily takes one hand off the steering wheel to wave his hand around as he’s trying to come up with the right words. “...the company’s golden boy, or something. Not saying a single snap of your fingers would have made you allowed to decline, but I’m sure they would have let you eventually.” 

Jihoon has to think about that for a second. Not knowing what to say about that, he just hums in response.

He knows he’s valued around here. Since the moment he signed his contract here, he knew he would be in good hands.  _Much_  better than he could have ever been in Maroo. The management obviously know about Jihoon’s past as an idol, which is something they’ve always kept in mind when making decisions and assigning projects for him. It makes sense, he thinks, joining this new idol training program. It would bring in profit, publicity, and possibly open up a bunch of new doors which Jihoon maybe isn’t ready to open yet.

“It’s just that it would bring in a lot of good press, you know. They’ll love it when they find out you’re taking extra training for this. Park Jihoon,  _hard working-dol_. I see it," Jisung says, and Jihoon can’t help but grimace at that because _yep_ , there it is.

Of course press publicity is a thing. He kind of forgets about that sometimes. It’s not like he’s a stranger to seeing his face on the Naver front page, but a lot of people have always cared more about actual idols. In a day or so, KBS will announce the programme’s line up, and then there’s that. Then, Jihoon might just start  _getting_ the idol treatment for a while.

Once more, he tries to think about  _why_  exactly he decided to go through with it still. Because Jisung is right, (Jisung is never wrong), he really could have convinced his superiors to let him bail on this.

And  _yet_. Yet a part of himself is telling him he had already made up his mind for a possible scenario from the beginning — one where having to persuade his company isn't a part of.

His heart unhelpfully reminds his brain of a few reasons why he didn't step out, and Jihoon tries hard to push the thoughts away. He hasn’t performed in so long, so what the fuck would he know.

Which brings him to his next realisation. He still has to contact Woojin. He had gotten the green light from the company quicker than he’d expected, so he hadn’t really thought about how he was going to go about it. He sits on the thought of texting Daehwi first for a while, asking the younger how to like,  _talk_  to Woojin. But he figures he would just be met with teasing instead of actual advice, so he decides against it.

He gets home, takes a shower, heats up some of Jisung’s udon noodles he insisted he take home, and then spends the next five minutes staring at his phone screen while he eats.

This is stupid. It’s not the first time he’s had to contact people that are practical strangers to him about business-related stuff. That’s literally how some of his current friendships had started out. So why is he so nervous?

 _You have an admiration-slash-thirst crush guy you barely know_ , a voice in his head that sounds a lot like Daehwi’s helpfully reminds him.

 _Shut up_ , he tells the voice.

Anyway.

He opens his messaging app and scrolls back to Daehwi’s text. He selects Woojin’s number, adds him as a new contact, and starts typing. 

 

> _Hi!!!_

Nope. Too many exclamation marks.

And a _‘Hello, Woojin_.’ makes him sound like the goddamn grim reaper, right?

He sighs.

In the end he settles for a “ _Hi, Woojin! It’s Jihoon. Daehwi gave me your number...so yeah. You probably know why I’m texting you. If you’re still offering, I could really use some help! :)”_

He thinks about erasing it for a moment. Tossing his phone aside and going to sleep and never  _ever_  contacting Woojin. He can deal with doing absolutely terrible the first two weeks of the program and figuring it out himself. It can't be that bad, right? But then he thinks of Seongwoo — who Jihoon knows had done his fair share of dancing even until now — and Hyungseob, who is pretty much still an idol. And Seonho’s got humour to cover up any kind of embarrassing mistakes. Which leaves a mix of his natural competitiveness and anxiety to kick in.

God, it’s not even that deep, is it?

(Maybe it isn’t.)

(But Jihoon has his reasons for wanting to do well.)

He presses send.

 

 

Woojin, Daehwi had said, is a  _terrible_ texter. Straight up horrible, as the younger said. Which is why it comes as a surprise when Jihoon’s phone buzzes on the coffee table less than ten minutes later.

 

> **Park Woojin** **[10:25PM]:** _Hi Jihoon! Yes, i still am. When do you want to get started? ^^_

Well, that was fast and straightforward. There's no turning back now.

They agree to meet up the following Sunday. Woojin suggests that if his lessons become a regular thing, they meet up on Sundays by default. Even though neither of them are particularly busy with their own schedules yet, it’s easier to plan these things ahead.

It helps that most companies don’t work on Sundays, and that it’s relatively more quiet around in general. Jihoon navigates towards the Brand New Music building with a little bit of difficulty. Jisung had offered him a ride as per usual, but Jihoon had opted for taking the subway instead. Why? Because Jihoon is  _definitely_  nervous and he figures getting some air first will get rid of the knots in his stomach.

He doesn’t know Woojin like that, and while that usually doesn’t bother him this feels different somehow. Partially because he’s like Daehwi’s big brother and partially because Jihoon thinks his legs might not cooperate the way they used to in front of someone like him. Woojin  _breathes_  dance, that much is clear from the few times Jihoon has seen him perform (and from the one time he accidentally stumbled upon a fancam, but yeah).

It takes a little less than an hour by public transport to get where he needs to be, and by the time he gets off at his station he’s regretting it an awful lot. As it turns out, this was a perfect opportunity to  _overthink_. He finds himself wishing Jisung had driven him instead.

Jihoon shoots a quick text to Woojin when he enters the street where the building is. By the time he’s there, Woojin is already leaning against the entrance doors of the company. He smiles widely when he spots Jihoon and  _oh_ , okay. Okay. That’s kind of blinding.

“Hi,” Jihoon says. “I’m Park Jihoon. Nice to formally meet you.” He bows once and extends his hand to Woojin, whose eyes are studying him. Woojin seems a mix of shy yet confident, bold yet introvert. Jihoon tries not to flinch under the dancer’s gaze. “Thanks again for doing this.”

Woojin chuckles at that and shakes Jihoon’s hand. “It’s my pleasure, really. I’m Woojin, but you already knew that.”

And then silence kind of falls. It’s not deliberate. Jihoon just looks at Woojin and Woojin looks at Jihoon and he’s pretty sure they’re shaking hands for longer than is socially acceptable. It’s...loaded. But it’s not bad.

Jihoon clears his throat once Woojin lets go and averts his eyes.

“So,” Jihoon starts.

“So,” Woojin replies, arms crossed but the ghost of a smile on his lips.

Yep. It’s definitely awkward now.

“Let’s go in.” Woojin says finally, nudging his head at the entrance. Once Jihoon nods, the boy turns around and enters the building.

Jihoon follows him inside. Brand New Music is just like any music entertainment company, he guesses. Big walls with pictures of their artists, an info desk like any other office, and a maze of corridors leading from conference rooms to practice rooms and recording studios. Woojin navigates them to a room labeled  _Practice Room 2_  and pats his jacket in search of the key.

“Ah damn,” he says sheepishly when he obviously finds his pockets empty. “Hold on, I think there’s a spare key at the reception desk. Let me go get it.”

Jihoon doesn’t have much choice but to wait as Woojin jogs back to the entrance. He leans back against the white wall across from the practice room door and closes his eyes. It’s been less than a week since he’d signed the deal to join _Boy Next Door_ , and about two weeks before the first official practice recording. The first formal meeting, though, is next week. He’s kind of nervous about it. No one had said anything out loud about how he used to be an idol for a while, yet Jihoon still wants to prove that he still has  _it_. No matter how much he pretends he doesn’t care, he _does_. So much. It’s been a long time since he’s lived like an idol, and while he’s glad he has found a home in acting, he  _does_  miss it. His bones are telling him they’re aching to start dancing again, and for a moment he’s once again hit with intense regret of having given up on that so easily.

It’s not that he misses the idol life, really. The constant practicing on a severe lack of nutrition and sleep were certainly not aspects he'd like to relive. But he does miss being an idol. He misses performing, the adrenaline that came each time he stood on stage, the satisfaction he felt after a good performance — sweating, singing,  _dancing_.

So going back now, albeit briefly, will definitely be a bit of both heaven and hell. He's already established this.

He wonders if he’ll regret this.

He doesn’t get to dwell on it much further, because Woojin comes back with a lopsided smile on his face. He dangles the keys from his left hand. “Got ‘em!” he says before going straight to the door and unlocking it. He’s not even slightly out of breath, despite having ran all the way to the entrance and back.

Jihoon enters the practice room and is greeted with… himself. A huge mirror faces him and he just stands there awkwardly for a few seconds while Woojin goes straight to the speaker system.

Something occurs to him then. “Uh...Hey, how do I pay you back for this?” he asks in a dead-serious tone. They never discussed this over text. They didn’t discuss anything like this at all.

Woojin barks out a laugh but doesn’t look up from where he’s setting up. It sounds a bit harsh, but Jihoon can tell there’s no malice in it. For a second it occurs to him Woojin might be just as nervous as he is, but quickly shakes that thought off. Why would he?

“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that at all actually? I mean, this is a free time thing? I think? Because you’re Daehwi’s friend and all. And I would usually be dancing anyway, so.”

“Right,” Jihoon says a tad uncomfortably. He’d feel bad not repaying him or something. He knows how some celebrities can be. And even though Woojin  _is_  also a celebrity himself, Jihoon wants to show him he’s not like that. But he leaves it at that and doesn’t say a thing. It could have ended there, but it didn’t.

Woojin seems to be lost in thought for a few seconds, judging by how he stops fiddling with the dock connector. “Ah, or,” he starts, but pauses for a second. He looks up, then. His eyes meet Jihoon’s. A burst of confidence that flashes through them seems to prompt Woojin to continue. “You take me to dinner after this is all over. With or without Daehwi, doesn’t matter.”

It’s a serious offer, because Woojin isn’t laughing about it. Not that he should be.  _It’s just dinner_ , Jihoon tells himself, and it’s true. He goes to dinner with Daehwi or his other friends all the time.

So why is Jihoon’s heart threatening to burst out of his ribcage?

 _Calm down_.

“Sure!” Jihoon says, and he’s pretty sure he looks like the passive aggressive smiley face in real life now. Great.

Apparently satisfied with the answer, Woojin nods and drops the subject. He goes back to the set-up as Jihoon awkwardly stands around and studies his surroundings. After about thirty seconds, music comes through the speakers. Woojin gets up with a satisfied look on his face and looks at himself in the mirror. He makes eye contact with Jihoon, who is standing in the back of the room, through his own reflection.

“Well, come over here.” Woojin says. Then, a little softer, “Don’t be too nervous, Jihoon. It’s just me.” As if they’ve known each other for years. Maybe they kind of have, through Daehwi. But it's not the same, it doesn't compare.

Despite being an actor, Jihoon is still particularly bad at hiding his nerves. Especially when he’s caught off guard, which is exactly the effect Woojin seems to have on him.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment, before walking over to his spot next to Woojin. When he looks to his left, Woojin is still staring, gaze soft.

Jihoon swallows down his nerves, and just smiles and nods. “Let’s do it, then.”

 

 

Dancing, as it turns out, is something he’s never really unlearned. His skills aren't the same as they used to be and his coordination is kind of terrible, but he’s managing. He’s still doing better than he thought.

But it’s hard. His bones may remember, but his brain doesn’t. And that’s kind of the problem here. Dancing is supposed to come naturally, but his mind is overthinking every move and every little step he takes. It’s frustrating, to say at the least.

After they warmed up and Woojin shows him some basic stuff before driving up the tempo. Jihoon tries, he really does, but he finds himself mentally exhausted less than 45 minutes later.

“Okay,” Woojin says after Jihoon struggles with the same move for the fifth time in 20 minutes. “Let’s do this a little differently. I did some research.”

Jihoon raises an eyebrow. “Research?”

“You used to be an idol, correct?” Woojin asks and oh, here it comes. This is what Jihoon was afraid of. The whole  _you were an idol but you can’t dance for shit_ -talk.

But it never comes. Instead, the dancer just looks at Jihoon with a face that spells patience and doesn’t even have a spark of judgemental behaviour anywhere. Jihoon swallows and nods. “Let’s break the ice differently, then.”

What?

“Huh?”

“Your speciality was popping, wasn’t it? Daehwi told me as well.”

He’s not surprised Daehwi had filled Woojin in a bit, but he has an idea of where this conversation is going. Jihoon nods again. Woojin smiles and taps his left foot on the ground lightly. “Show me.”

The way he said it doesn’t really leave room for argument, even though it was gentle as can be. Jihoon attributes it to his own stubbornness mixing in with his anxieties. Woojin walks over to the speakers and changes it to a song Jihoon is a little more familiar with.

He doesn’t protest. Instead, he closes his eyes and starts.

It feels...weird. Rusty. A little uncomfortable. But at some point Jihoon’s brain shuts off and lets his body do the talking. This,  _this_  is what he needed. To feel the rhythm with his body, not his brain. It’s not near the level he used to be when he debuted, or when he abruptly stopped. But he feels it, for the first time in years.

Insecurity still somehow manages to seep in and settle in his bones, and after less than a minute Jihoon slows down and turns to look at Woojin. The boy is leaning against the mirror, arms crossed, gaze intently focused on Jihoon. Their eyes meet, and Woojin grins. Jihoon notices his snaggletooth peeking out and can’t help but smile back.

“We can work with this,” Woojin says, nodding to himself. “I already figured we just needed something that could set you off.” He smiles again at Jihoon, and it’s even more blinding as it had been earlier.

He’s out of breath, and at first he was convinced it was because of the dancing, but now he’s not so sure.


	2. ii

As time goes on, Jihoon learns just how easy it is to slip into a routine. He is honestly surprised.

The first recording of _Boy Next Door_ takes place about a week and a half after his first practice with Woojin. By that time, he’s already met with Woojin more than initially planned. It was unexpected, because they had initially planned to only do it on Sundays. But Jihoon had told him he had another week off before filming starts and Woojin had seen it as an opportunity to sneak in a few extra lessons. Long story short: they had spent more time together than either of them (or Daehwi) expected.

It’s Jihoon's first official, formal meeting with the cast and crew of the program. It’s mostly introductions and detailed information of the program’s plans. Every episode has been written out, every practice has been set. By the end of the day, everyone involved knows exactly what is expected of them and what they have to do. Jihoon feels the difference from meetings for dramas, where it’s mostly about script readings and recording days.

Jihoon makes eye contact with Seongwoo across the room, who grins at him.

He’s glad there’s people he knows in the cast. It reassures him. Seongwoo and Hyungseob aren’t strangers — Jihoon would almost consider them his friends. _Almost_. Maybe they can still become friends. Seonho is also familiar enough to be comfortable with. Jihoon knows Lai Guanlin, Seonho's best friend and labelmate, pretty well through Daehwi (of course, through who else?), and Jisung is friends with Hwang Minhyun, who Jihoon knows was like a mentor to Seonho back in the day. 

So yeah, it’s reassuring to be surrounded by familiar faces. It’s usually not an issue during drama filming, but that’s because it’s where he’s at home and feels most comfortable. Because he's surrounded by people who share the same deep-rooted passion for acting as him, too. It’s not hard for him to adjust on set. Here, however, it feels different. Going back to practice, recording a song in just a few weeks, _idol life_... it’s just different.

Episode one will air at the end of the month. Jisung tells Jihoon he’s already marked his calendar, which earns him an eye roll and a low whine from the young actor (or is it _actor-dol_ now?)

Jihoon really needs some time to take it all in. It’s something on his mind with every passing moment he gets to himself. He thinks of the expectations (set by himself more than by other people) and how to meet them, of how things will change for him.

The Tuesday after the first crew meeting, Jihoon heads to their first practice at the studio KBS had rented for them. He wears a mask and a cap he got as a present from a fan once, some sweatpants, and one of his favourite shirts — his good luck shirt, if you will. It’s not like he wants to hide from people, with the mask and all. It's not like he's  _that_  famous he needs to be unrecognisable the moment he steps out either. But he's longing for a little bit of invisibility as he mentally prepares himself, so he’d rather make sure.

Filming for the program turns out to be pretty easy. It’s filming, after all, and Jihoon is familiar enough with cameras. It’s still a little bit like acting, still a little bit of memorising what to say and what to do. And if he’s being honest, the few practices he’s had with Woojin so far are already paying off, because he finds himself following along to the instructor more smoothly than he thought he would. He discovers it takes a lot of the pressure he'd been feeling away.

His first week on _Boy Next Door_ passes by in a blur. There’s the first official practice on Tuesday and they film their first profile introductions on Wednesday. In the evening, he also briefly meets with Woojin to go over the things he’s been taught. Their first photoshoot on Thursday. A meeting on Friday. Lunch with Jisung on Saturday. Meeting up with Woojin for practice again on Sunday.

And so it goes.

Routine, Jihoon finds, is just so easy to fall into.

Three days before the first episode goes on air, there is the show’s press conference. It’s honestly nothing new for Jihoon. When his nerves kick in, he tells himself just to treat like he'd treat a press conference for a drama or movie — they're similar things, after all. His limbs are sore from practice, and he flinches when one of the MCs hits his shoulders a little too harshly. But it’s not too bad. He’s mostly nervous about what people will think about him. About the program too, but mostly about him, Park Jihoon,  _the ex idol_. 

As always, he pushes those thoughts away for a time where he's ready to deal with them if he still has to.

 

So things are going well for the most part, really. Jihoon’s making progress, and above that he admits that he's  _enjoying_ himself too. He’s surprised with himself, because a month or so back he thought this would've turned out to be an absolute nightmare. Sometimes it still kind of is, because his limbs are becoming permanently sore and he’s running on a growing lack of sleep, but it’s okay. It reminds him of his idol days a little. The industry changed a lot over the few years he left it, but some parts never change.

On Sunday, he's on his way to the Brand New building again. It's still their Official Practice Day, even if Woojin always sneaks in some extra advice when he can.

Before leaving the apartment, Jihoon shoots Woojin a message letting him know he's on the way. They message back and forth, easily slipping in some snarky and teasing comments into the conversations, as if they’ve been lifelong friends. When he arrives, they easily pick up the conversation where their last text message left off.  _That_ also became a routine.

It’s kind of strange, how quickly Woojin is becoming a fixed part of his life. Jihoon doesn't want to question it, so he tries not to. 

Neither of them had discussed how long they’d be doing this for. Jihoon spent some time thinking about it. Woojin had been his teacher, or whatever, and it would’ve been completely normal to just end it where it had been logical; when the program started and he’d be receiving training from the coaches KBS had hired for them. They would have parted ways and maybe caught up with each other through Daehwi or when Jihoon buys them both dinner as a _thank you_ like he'd promised to do. Jihoon would’ve kept admiring Woojin from a distance but focus on the program and move on. And that would have been it.

But that didn’t happen, obviously. Woojin slipped into his life so easily he nearly didn’t even _notice_ until Daehwi messaged him a few days ago telling him tell Woojin to stop texting during practice. It was followed by a winking emoticon and other suggestive nonsense Jihoon deliberately chooses to ignore.

It used to be awkward, the first few times. Jihoon had trouble with the choreographies, but Woojin made him realise it was mostly Jihoon freaking himself out and putting a strain on himself rather than his body not cooperating. After that it became easier. More comfortable, too.

“It’s waacking, have you heard of it?” Woojin says when they resume after taking a small break. “You swing your arms like so—” before throwing his arms up and demonstrating some of the moves he wants Jihoon to try.

Jihoon looks at it appreciatively, and tries it by following Woojin’s movements. The dancer snorts. “You look like a windmill that’s malfunctioning.” Jihoon obviously kicks his ass for it, but it’s worth it when Woojin’s laughs and screeches echo through the room.

(It becomes comfortable for more reasons than one.)

So they get _closer_ , for lack of better word. Daehwi calls it  _exploding tension_. Maybe he's right, because Jihoon feels a little electric whenever he's around Woojin. Maybe that's what Daehwi was referring to with the winking faces whenever he texts him about Woojin. Just maybe, though.

Maybe Daehwi just teasing like usual.

Maybe Jihoon is just getting in over his own head.

 

 

The first episode airs, and it’s a success. The netizen comments are surprisingly positive, even on Pann where it’s usually only harsh critiques by people who know nothing about anything. Jihoon finds himself searching his name despite telling himself not to. There’s some mean comments that will definitely get to him at some point when his self-confidence and fatigue get the best of him, but it’s mostly positive, and he finds himself relieved. Jisung sends him some screenshots of articles and comments he likes, and Jihoon really appreciates the support he’s getting from around him.

Jihoon takes a picture in the practice room the next time they have practice and uploads it on his Instagram, expressing a sincere thank you to his fans. It’s a bit unusual for him, but he’s in a good mood. He knows his way around fanservice and acting cute, but there’s still something unfamiliar to using social media. He’s trying, though.

Seongwoo plops down to him when he’s scrolling through his Instagram feed a little later. They’d been discussing their positions and the program’s assigned coach had made them run some extra choreography to have a better overview of everyone's skills. “What’s up with you?” he asks, tilting his chin towards Jihoon’s phone.

“Oh, nothing. Just posted something on instagram. It’s—”

“Unusual for you, yeah. You don’t post very much there.”

Jihoon nods at that. Seongwoo is way better at this whole thing, anyway. “What changed?”

He shrugs. “Don’t know. Just wanted to try something to like… connect better, I guess.”

“You’re starting to talk like an idol, Jihoonie.” Seongwoo laughs and ruffles his hair. “Have you been receiving some idol lessons or something? Or are your past tendencies slipping through again?” He rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling as he asks. Jihoon thinks he kind of looks like a puppy.

Jihoon shrugs. “Something like that. I have a… uh… _friend_ who’s been helping me, I guess.” Woojin _is_ his friend, so he doesn’t know why he hesitates briefly at the word. It all went quite fast; Jihoon isn’t used to getting chummy with people this quickly. He tends to think of himself as an easygoing person, but still prefers to keep people at an arm’s length. It had taken Daehwi three months in the same group and a different roommate arrangement to knock down Jihoon’s walls, hence.

“Ah, Woojin. I heard,” Seongwoo says casually before uncapping his bottle and drinking some water. It looks like an invitation to accidentally choke, drinking water while lying down. Jihoon stares blankly at him, because _how_?

When Seongwoo finishes gulping down practically half of his water bottle in one go, he says: “I’m friends with Youngmin. You know Im Youngmin? They’re in the same group.”

Oh, okay. Makes sense.

“He told me you two spend quite some together. A lot of time, actually.”

Jihoon puffs his cheeks at that, just to have something to do. “Oh?” he ends up responding. “I mean. He just helps me with my dancing, and I needed a lot of help you know, so,”

Which isn’t a lie. But Seongwoo is right, because at this point Jihoon is over at Brand New Music’s dancing studio more often than is necessary.

Seongwoo flicks his wrist dismissively at that. “Sure, sure, Jihoonie. I wasn’t implying anything.”

_Right._

 

* * *

Routine is easy to fall into. Jihoon learns this through Woojin, through steady practices with the project group, through having Jisung drive him home from recordings and giving him extra food he’d cooked at home.

But sometimes routine is even easier to break.

The official offer comes in a few days before the second episode airs.

During the episode, they had aired more practices and shown footage of the meeting to decide the members’ positions in the group. It had gone well, so Jihoon can’t complain with his position as rapper _and dancer_. Hyungseob and Seonho had gotten vocal positions. Seongwoo as well, although he’s unofficially more in charge of the dancing. Jihoon thinks it’s interesting to watch how they’re slowly coming together. They have their profiles all set, their positions decided. The next step is picking a group name and a title track. They’ve only been filming for roughly two and a half weeks, in small steps too, and despite Jihoon’s fatigue and _mild_ anxiety still settling in sometimes, his unexpected enjoyment hasn’t faded.

Jisung calls him on his day off to tell him the news.

A high school drama Jihoon had auditioned around three times for had gotten in contact with the agency and told them they wanted Jihoon for the role of second lead. Jihoon honestly cannot be happier. This is a role he’d been aiming for for a few months already. And maybe it shouldn’t feel like an achievement. He knows some people on the same level as him that think these things should be given to them, but Jihoon has learned to not take everything for granted.

Needless to say, he’s extremely proud of himself. So proud, even, that he momentarily pushes the worries about how he’s going to combine doing the idol show _and_ drama recordings aside.

 

 

And thus, very quickly, the routine he had built up changes. It’s not a surprise. Nothing in this business is supposed to be a routine in the first place.

His first reading takes place only a few days later. A Sunday. Coincidentally, this clashes with his usual meet up with Woojin, so he shoots the younger a text telling him they should rain-check if possible.

Technically, he thinks, they shouldn’t even have to rain-check at all. Jihoon is doing fine now, skills polished and improved, and Woojin could call it off easily if he wanted to. It wouldn’t even be a bad thing, really, because they’re in contact often enough outside of their practices. But Jihoon wants to keep actually _seeing_ Woojin and he has no idea how to do it any other way. So when Woojin responds with a sad emoji, followed by a message asking when the next time he’s available is, the sign of relief Jihoon breathes is completely valid.

After comparing their schedules, they decide to meet up Monday evening. Jihoon has a meeting in the morning and Woojin has his own responsibilities in the afternoon. The next available time would have been the next Thursday, but Woojin seemed in a hurry to see him, almost.

(Because constant practice and improvement is important. That's all there is to it.)

But when Jihoon enters the practice room that night, Woojin seems a bit nervous. However, as soon as he sees Jihoon, he breaks out into a grin before shooting him an offhand remark about the neon shoelaces Jihoon had put in his dancing shoes.

The dynamic they’ve built up recently has been a lot of things — a bit sarcastic, maybe even snarky, with lots of play fighting and fake insults both in real life and in their constant stream of messages to one another — but it’s never been laced with a feeling of anxiety. Which is exactly what Woojin is radiating. Jihoon is an actor, for God’s sake, and while Woojin knows to use his body better than anyone else in probably this entire neighbourhood, his body language is exposing him like an open book.

When they warm up, Woojin asks him about the drama. Without fault, Jihoon had almost immediately told the younger about his future plans the moment he got the confirmation of the role, and Woojin seemed really interested. “The first filming is quite soon already. I have some meetings and script-readings and rehearsals before that, but… it’s all going very quickly. They’d told me it would be when I had my first audition,” Jihoon explains as he stretches. Woojin hums.

“I’ve never been on a set before. You should take me to visit,” he says, then, while grinning in the way that shows his snaggletooth specifically.

Jihoon grins right back at him. “It’s a _dat_ —a deal. It’s a deal!” Woojin’s grin turns into a smirk, before he looks away. “Sure thing. As for now, let’s get dancin’.”

Woojin spends the first thirty minutes after warm-up helping Jihoon out with the choreography they’ve been working on for Boy Next Door. Jihoon notices Woojin is still nervous when they take a break for a bit. Jihoon had pushed it to the back of his mind after Woojin looked like he was doing okay. But right now he’s looking a little jittered, and Jihoon is not sure what to say, _if_ he should say anything in the first place. Instead he opts for gently passing his water bottle over to Woojin and looking at him as he drinks.

“Can I ask you something?” Woojin starts eventually, after it’s been quiet for a few minutes. Jihoon can't tell if the silence was in any way comfortable, too caught up in wondering whether or not he should have said something.

Jihoon nods. “Sure.”

“We’re preparing for a comeback soon,” Woojin states, fiddling with his hands. “And I’m going to ask the company if I can choreograph it.”

 _Ah_. So that’s why he’s so nervous.

“You should!” Jihoon says, “You really should. You’re incredible. I’m sure they’d let you.” And he really means what he says.

The younger worries his lip for a while before looking at Jihoon. “Yeah… uh… But can I show you what I have so far? I'd show the hyungs and Daehwi, but...”

He still sounds a bit anxious and while Jihoon kind of understands he also doesn’t. Woojin is... _amazing_. In more ways than one, yes, but his dancing is really outstanding. He knows Woojin by now. Knows he takes pride in his dancing, knows Woojin _breathes_ for it. But he’s also aware that he deals with insecurities he doesn’t mention out loud. And he remembers their awkward first encounter, just right outside this very building, where Woojin had dangerously dangled between nervous and nervously bold.

Woojin is a whole rubik’s cube, and Jihoon is dying to figure him out. Every time he thinks he’s got one part down, the younger shows him something new and unexpected.

So when Woojin is looking at him like this, sitting across from him fiddling with his hands, Jihoon finds himself wishing he didn’t look this worried about something he knows he should be confident in. But this seems to be a big deal to Woojin, so he decides not to voice those things out loud.

Pulling his knees up and resting his elbows on them, Jihoon gives him an encouraging nod instead. “I’d love to see it.”

Woojin looks at him for a long moment, before blinking his eyes and nodding. He gets up, walks over to the speaker set in the corner, and takes his phone as he looks for the song.

“You better not leak this audio, Daehwi will have my head,” the dancer says in an obvious attempt to calm himself down, but the timbre of his voice gives him away. Jihoon giggles at the remark, and Woojin looks up from his phone briefly to link eyes with him and make sure he's not being made fun of.

Soon, he finds the music he’s looking for. The intro plays softly through the speaker as Woojin hurries back to the middle of the room as he gets in position.

When he begins dancing, Jihoon loses his breath.

The song is a demo. It’s sung in English mostly, Korean lyrics inserted already here and there. Jihoon vaguely recognises the voice on the demo as Daehwi’s. Emphasis on vaguely, because the only thing on his mind once Woojin starts dancing is white noise and _Woojin, Woojin, Woojin_.

It’s incredible. _He_ 's incredible. Woojin is graceful and rough where it has to be, matching the rhythm of the song perfectly. Jihoon can tell it’s Woojin’s choreography from the way he slides across the floor, from the way he rolls his hips.

Jihoon thinks that if there was one person in the universe who could get him to dance again, who would make him want to dance forever, it would always be Woojin.

He thinks, briefly, how Woojin captivates everyone in the room whenever he's dancing. He thinks how impossible it is to  _not_ fall in love with his movements.

( _With him_ , a voice chimes in.)

When the music stops and Woojin strikes his ending pose, Jihoon is surprised his jaw isn’t on the floor. He jumps up and starts clapping his hands, cheering for the younger. His body reacts faster than his mind does when he runs over to the younger and wraps his arms around him for a few seconds. Woojin barely even hesitates before enveloping Jihoon more tightly into his embrace.

The realisation won't come until later, but this was the first time they hugged. Woojin is a touchy person when Jihoon is all but that. For him to have taken the first step should scare him, concern him, even.

It doesn’t.

“It was fucking amazing. Sorry for swearing but wow, Woojin,” Jihoon says into Woojin’s ear. He’s sweaty but he doesn’t care. “There’s no way they won’t approve this. Did you do all of this yourself?”

Woojin pulls away from him for a second, but keeps his arms positioned on Jihoon’s shoulders. “Yeah,” he says, a little weakly, “I mean… the choreographer hyungs helped me a bit, but…” he trails off before giving Jihoon a bright smile.

Then, he hesitates a bit. His eyes scan Jihoon’s face for any sign of discomfort. It’s brief, nearly unnoticeable. Woojin pulls Jihoon back in for another hug. “Thank you, Jihoon. Really.”

Jihoon feels shivers down his spine at Woojin’s words. He feels warmth spread across his entire being, and he _knows_ it’s not because the room is hot.

The younger pulls back, then. He’s grinning. “If this gets green light I’ll teach you the main point dances sometime. When it hits big and they play it on variety you can show off your extraordinary moves!” And Jihoon thinks there’s nothing better in the world than Woojin’s smile when he says that.

 

* * *

Things... _progress_.

May had rolled into June before anyone had noticed. The weather becomes warmer, the days become longer, and Jihoon’s schedule becomes busier.

Filming for his new drama had started a few days ago. It’s nice so far, the cast is nice and he likes the storyline, which is always a bonus. So far so good, then.

The idol project is starting to step up its velocity as well. After a debate that was a little longer than it should have been, the project group settles on a name. _Wanna Be_. Hyungseob had been the one to come up with it. “It’s like...some of us aren’t full-time idols, but we _wanna be_ idols even if it’s for a while, get it? Right, Seonho?”

Seonho, as always, had agreed. In the end, the others just gave in as well.

They also picked the title track for their single. They were presented four different songs of which they had to eliminate two — the remaining two becoming their title and b-side for the single.

It still feels weird having it all happen. They’re going to start recording soon, for God’s sake. They’ll be filming a music video and shoot for album cover. They’ll even do a busking event. It’s genuinely, for lack of better word, surreal.

But that’s not the only progress he’s making.

It’s true that things are always progressing all the time. That’s just what life is. But the thing is that things are also progressing between Woojin and Jihoon.

After their hug in the practice room last week, Jihoon feels as if things have changed. It would be unnoticeable to the people around them (except maybe Daehwi), but Jihoon feels it all too well. Daehwi, wise as always, had said something about an  _epiphany_ when they were on the phone the other day. Jihoon had ignored it. 

A hug is a hug. It’s a hug. It’s all there should be to it. But it made Jihoon acutely aware of his own feelings, as if his heart and body collaborated against his mind. He doesn’t want to label whatever it is he’s started feeling for Woojin as _Feelings_ (Capital F), or as _Like_ , or as whatever other word it is. He’s not ready to enter those territories.

It’s not his sexuality that’s a problem. Jihoon is confident in who he is and who he likes. Coming out is an entirely different story and Jihoon prefers not to tackle it. His closest friends know, Jisung knows, he thinks Seongwoo might know because that guy somehow knows everything, and that’s that. So this part is easy to admit to; he has never been shy about it despite Daehwi’s relentless teases and quirked eyebrows. Woojin is good-looking. He’s charming, too. He’s _deadly_ on stage when he dances and yes, Jihoon likes what he sees. The moment they had met, whatever tension there had been back then was purely physical appreciation, so whatever it is fading into now is just a big red sign with the letters _DANGER_ constantly flickering in his head.

Because relationships mean commitment and _feelings_ and when it comes to Woojin, a whole lot of other risks and insecurities.

Woojin himself hasn’t been making it any easier either. Since last week, he’s been more touchy with Jihoon. Whenever they’re practicing a move and Jihoon holds his arm too high or his posture is a bit strange, Woojin makes a point of it to come over and fix it for him. This isn’t anything new, really. What _is_ new is how Woojin’s touches linger. He also seems to have learned the ability to tell when Jihoon is uncomfortable and would rather not be touched, or when he’s stressed and in need of a pat on the shoulder or — _levelled up!_ — a hug. It’s... _a lot_ , to say at the least.

Since last week they've met up more than a few times. Each time Jihoon wasn’t in the studio for Boy Next Door or filming on set, Jihoon asked Woojin if he was available. “ _Since the speed at which I’m going to have to learn this choreography will be quite intense with my schedule._ ”

Woojin says yes every time. Even offers, too, with the same excuse (because that’s what it is, isn’t it? An excuse) as Jihoon.

It’s funny because they barely get any practice done.

Lately, this is how it goes:

They warm up. It varies from stretching to cardio to whatever else Woojin has in mind that day. Over a month ago these were things to be taken very seriously, and while Woojin _still_ makes sure that Jihoon warms up properly, they chat freely and playfight their way through it.

After they’ve warmed up, Jihoon shows him whatever it is Woojin wants to see from him. Woojin then spends some time fixing what needs to be fixed before progressing. The thing, however, is that Jihoon knows this choreography by heart by now. Every muscle in his body knows what it needs to do at which moment. Woojin is correcting mistakes Jihoon isn’t even making and they both know that but neither of them say a word about it. Woojin’s touches on his elbow, his waist, his neck are unnecessary and unnecessarily long. They don’t say anything about that either, although Jihoon silently scolds his poor heart for going out of control.

And lately, this is also where it ends.

This is where it ends because they get distracted and spend the next two hours lying on the practice room floor and _talking_. If it’s not too late, they’ll make a run to the convenience store and bicker their way through the entire snack selection before buying some banana milk or iced coffee. Jihoon insists on more snacks but “ _We’re both on a diet, Jihoon, please._ ”

(For the record, Woojin _is,_ and will always be, determined. He's a good teacher, for sure. He takes what he does very seriously, which is even more of a sign that dance practice isn't even necessary anymore when Jihoon is getting help from the Boy Next Door crew when he really needs it.)

They’re lying on the floor of the practice room one afternoon. It’s sunny outside, so Woojin left the windows open. Two nearly empty cups of iced coffee are placed neatly by the speaker system. It’s nice being able to talk about everything and nothing as the hours tick away. It should be stress-inducing when you’re not doing work when you should be, but Woojin seems to take all of that away exactly when he has to. Jihoon hasn’t felt this comfortable in a long time.

The topic drifts to Jihoon’s upcoming busking performance the very next day. It’ll be the first time in _years_ that he’s actually performed in front of other people. But it’s a small busking, at a mall, so Jihoon tries not to worry about it despite the voice in his telling him things such as _it’s a big mall though_ and _there’s still going to be a lot of people_.

Jihoon doesn’t have stage fright, no. He has ‘ _people have expectations of me and I’m scared I won’t be able to meet them_ ’-fright. That’s the best way to put it. It’s why he’s never tried to become an idol after his first group disbanded, it’s why he took practice with Woojin so seriously too, especially in the beginning.

Woojin seems to have been saying something to him, because when Jihoon looks at him he’s being given a quizzical look. Then, a sigh.

“Jihoon, you’re overthinking again. There’s smoke coming out of your ears,” Woojin says lightly and scoots a little closer to Jihoon, close enough to give the older’s legs a gentle kick. “You’ll be fine, I promise. We’ve gone over the cover dances a million times — I'm sure you can dance _Get Ugly_ in your sleep by now — and you know which songs you’ll be covering too. Nothing to worry about.”

He says nothing for a moment, opting to look down at his hands instead.

Woojin isn’t done. “A bit of healthy nerves aren’t bad, but try to relax, yeah? You’ve conquered a lot of things, you’ll conquer this too.”

"Disbanding really fucking sucked, you know," Jihoon speaks up. He knows Woojin knows the gist of what happened all those years ago because 1) Daehwi 2) The internet is a powerful place 3) Jihoon feels comfortable enough sharing his thoughts about it now. "It's like... something you've worked so hard for. Isn't hard work supposed to pay off?" He recognises a bit of bitterness in his own tone. 

It's true. They had worked hard. But life is unfair, and maybe the timing just wasn't right.

"I'm happy where I am now, really," Jihoon reassures Woojin, who is biting his lip and giving him a glance he can't decipher. "It's just that people know, you know? People know where I used to be, what I used to do before sticking to acting exclusively. What if I can't meet their expectations?" 

Woojin's voice is so full of determination, Jihoon feels the wind being knocked out of him at the force of his words. "You will. You will, Jihoon. I believe in you."

 

The words make him feel warm with appreciation and trust. And his mind? His mind is _wandering_ , straight into a myriad of thoughts Jihoon isn't ready to think.

It's getting too serious. Too... close to comfort. He debates between throwing in a semi-sarcastic remark or a sincere thank you. He settles for a mix. “Damn. Thanks, Lee Daehwi!” he says with a serious tone, and Woojin snorts loudly.

“I am starting to sound like him, aren’t I? Is this the Park Jihoon effect?”

Jihoon starts laughing at that, teeth showing and face bright, worries fading away. “Maybe, who knows,” he muses, before getting up and walking over to his bag and fishing out an extra bottle of water he bought at the store earlier.

“Daehwi actually talks a lot about you, you know” Woojin says when Jihoon sits back down. The dancer shifts his position and leans back on both hands, throwing his head back.

Jihoon watches him and tries not to let his thoughts run. “Oh? Does he boast about how annoying I am and steal all his chicken whenever we go out to eat?” he says lightly. Woojin is gives him a lopsided smile at that, still in the same position with his eyes closed. It’s… a _sight_ to behold, to be honest. Jihoon averts his eyes.

“Honestly, he really looks up to you, I think.” Woojin is still not moving. He looks relaxed, comfortable. “He boasts about how great you are a lot. If he wasn’t so into that Jinyoung kid I’d think he’s in to you.”

When Jihoon doesn’t immediately reply or gives him a reaction, Woojin opens his eyes and looks at him in mild-panic. “He didn’t tell you, did he? Oh god...Oh... Oh…” he begins to mutter, and Jihoon’s brain needs at least three seconds to understand whats going on.

Then, it clicks.

 _Bae Jinyoung_. Of course. He was a trainee at Maroo back in the day when Daehwi and Jihoon were still promoting. They had traveled similar paths in life, but parted ways since all of them left around the same time. It had only been a few months before Daehwi left that he had met Jinyoung, though, but things kind of blossomed from there. Jinyoung’s in a rookie group under another company now. Jihoon and Jinyoung aren’t _extremely_ close, but close enough to be considered friends. Daehwi had introduced them to each other.

How they even met when Daehwi was an idol and Jinyoung was stuck as a trainee is a mystery. But that aside, Jihoon knows about them. _Of course he knows._

“Wait, is this about Jinyoung and Daehwi? I know about them.” Woojin’s mouth snaps shut. “Don’t worry. I just… didn’t know which other people he’s told.”

“Yeah well, we’re his group mates,” Woojin says, and while Jihoon kind of understands what that means he knows being bandmates doesn’t always warrant someone’s deepest secrets. So Woojin helpfully supplies with: “And we’re like a family to each other. Even though Youngmin basically had to interrogate him on it. Gently, though.”

He nods at that. He remembers how it went with him as well. It had taken Daehwi a lot of courage to even tell Jihoon, even though he knew Jihoon wouldn’t judge him. He was... rather in the same boat as him, hence. He doesn’t really want to press the issue further but then Woojin huffs and says: “At least I know I’m not the only one, then.” and _Oh_. He doesn’t know what exactly that refers to — the fact he’s not the only one besides his group members who knows Daehwi is dating someone who is a boy or… _well_.

But Jihoon doesn’t dare ask and doesn’t really get the chance to even if he wanted to, because Woojin gets up and walks over to Jihoon, extending a hand to him. “Let’s go back to practice.”

Jihoon attributes the softness in Woojin’s voice to a figment of his own imagination.

 

* * *

Woojin was right, the busking _did_ go smoothly.

He was still really nervous, though. At some point Hyungseob had even asked if he needed to get him a bag to breathe in, which is saying  _something_. It’s both a blessing and a curse, not being able to hide his nerves well. Seonho had cracked jokes to distract them all when they were on the way there, and Seongwoo had insisted on helping Jihoon go over their little setlist one more time.

Jihoon doesn’t consider himself an overly anxious person and even if so, he’s learned to cover up a lot over the years. But it’s never perfect, as all things are. Jihoon has had a lot of curveballs thrown at him these past few months, and sometimes one hits im straight in the face for letting his guard down because he’s too busy focusing on other things.

 _How sad for an up-and-rising top actor_ , he thinks to himself more than once, _truly_.

Either way, it had gone well. There had been more people than expected, hence the unexpected wave of nerves. But he didn’t slip up, his voice didn’t waver or crack, he never missed a step. He thinks of Woojin’s words of encouragement, of Daehwi leaving him a voice message on Kakaotalk to cheer on him. He locks the feelings of confidence he gets from them deep in his heart, keeping them there for when he needs them.

 

 

That same night, he meets up Daehwi for dinner. It’s long overdue, because they hadn’t been able to properly see each other since that particular day back in April. The younger has a late night recording and Jihoon should probably get some rest while he still can, so they make it quick.

He’s halfway through his idol training program right now. They’re finally getting into the studio in a few days, which is both scary and exciting altogether. That, and there’s some nightly recordings for his drama scheduled over the next few days as well.

It’s promised to be a busy week, but at least he can still have dinner with Daehwi for once.

“I haven’t seen you in a while! You’re way too busy these days,” the younger whines as Jihoon sits down across from him. They’re at an Italian restaurant they both once came across during one of their many nightly walks around the city, when both of them were bored and looking for things to do.

“You’re one to talk,” Jihoon retorts with a smile. Daehwi had recently gotten a regular MC job at a music program, something Jihoon knows he’s been aiming for since a long time ago.

The waiter comes rather quickly since they’re regular customers and the restaurant is pretty empty. They’ve been here enough times to know what’s on the menu. Jihoon insists on not ordering something too heavy on his stomach, to which Daehwi rolls his eyes but agrees as long as Jihoon drinks at least one glass of wine with him.

Once they’ve ordered, Daehwi continues. “You’re right. I really feel like I haven’t seen you in years, though. You’re always filming or practicing or with Woojin.”

Jihoon feels a slight blush creep up on his cheeks. It’s not like it’s a lie, but the way Daehwi says it seems so… so… _incriminating_? He doesn’t even want to recall all the suggestive messages he’d gotten from the guy about Woojin this, Woojin that.

“Aw, you’re blushing. That’s cute.”

Jihoon splutters. “Am not! You just caught me off guard! You sound like I’m doing something illegal by hanging out with Woojin!”

“Hanging out huh…” Daehwi muses, “so it  _is_ true that these practices are more like dates.”

Oh my god. Jihoon will flip this table if Daehwi doesn’t stop. “Dates, yeah right,” he tries with an eye roll, “I don’t think that word fits in our dictionary.”

“We’ll see about that,” Daehwi says with a glint in his eye. Jihoon starts to regret meeting up with him, because he _knew_ that if it was bad over text, it would be even worse in real life. “You’ll thank me later when both of you stop being so dense, just FYI,” he adds the last part in English, which earns him an eye roll from Jihoon.

The younger huffs. "And here I was thinking I'd have to intervent, but you're doing all the work yourselves."

Before Jihoon can respond, the waiter comes over with their drinks and some toast as an appetiser. Jihoon is still about to ask what the hell that even _means_ , but Daehwi shoves a piece of toast into Jihoon’s mouth and starts talking about his new MC job.

 

 

Maybe… just _maybe_ , Daehwi had a point. Maybe.

He’s known that their practices aren’t them actually practicing anymore. Last time they met up they didn’t even see the practice room for more than three minutes because Woojin got hungry and wanted ice cream. Jihoon had to leave sooner than usual, too, so they never had the chance to get anything done.

Filming a new drama is always exciting. Jihoon might have missed being an idol, but acting is his _home_ , his second nature. Even though he’s pretty sure his blood is slowly getting replaced by caffeine and theine, the thrill of acting never fades. The week passes in a blur. The episode of the busking already aired before he even realised it was going to be airing. Jihoon films through the night a few times and heads straight to practice after. He knows he can’t keep doing this, though, but he thinks the night recordings will be over soon for now and there’s only a few (harsh) weeks left anyway.

On top of all of that, Wanna Be is also busy with preparations to shoot the first part of their music video. It’s all very exciting, and Jihoon even dares to call it _new_. He’s recorded music videos before, but a lot has changed in those few years. That, and it doesn’t really compare to filming for a movie or a drama.

Needless to say, his schedule is pretty packed. But even on the busiest days, there’s still Woojin.

Their arrangement to meet up on Friday falls flat the moment Jihoon gets a call on Thursday night after he’s gotten home from the jacket shooting that he has extra filming tomorrow. Fine, then.

There’s a few things Jihoon generally dislikes: sand in his shoes, people who cut in line, and cancelling on Woojin. That last part is a recent development, obviously.

Instead of letting Jihoon cancel on him, Woojin comes up with another idea.

> **Woojin [11:11PM]:** _Remember when i said you shld take you on set_
> 
> **Woojin [11:12PM]:** _I have the day off tomorro so if you want i can pick u up after your filming and you can show me around :-)_

Sounds like a plan, honestly, even if it’s kind of weird and sudden. But sure, why not. They _had_ indeed brought it up before.

Jihoon tells him as such, to which the other replies with a string of excited emojis. When Jihoon catches himself smiling down fondly at his phone, the realisation isn’t as shocking as it should be. On a whim, he decides Woojin’s contact name is a little too dry. Jihoon smiles as he changes it.

Before he can put his phone away, it beeps again.

> **Woojinie [11:32PM]:** _Um… u should give me the address of the shooting location tho_

 

* * *

 

And so it goes.

It’s a sunny day. Summer is starting in less than a week, way too quick, but it’s already too hot for Jihoon’s liking. Lucky for Jihoon, they’re filming inside of the school building today. There’s air-conditioning in the auditorium where they’re shooting their scene. It’s set to take all day, so he feels kind of lucky that he doesn’t have to be outside that much.

He doesn’t get to think much about Woojin picking him up later because of the busy day they had planned. He’d told Jisung when he was getting dropped off in the morning that he didn’t need to be picked up, to which he got two raised eyebrows in response. Luckily, Jisung is Jisung, which means he didn’t ask any questions. Jihoon told him to just go home and enjoy a free day, go back to bed, go on a date or something and enjoy the weather. No need to worry about him.

During the small lunch break the cast is being given Jihoon ponders on it for a bit, though. He never knew Woojin was interested in dramas or anything. He’s talked about some that he’s watched, sure, but he’s never really brought up being interested in _filming_ them. Maybe he’s not, maybe he’s just curious.

Jihoon isn’t sure why it kind of gnaws at him, why he’s thinking so much about it. What’s the point when he’ll never figure Woojin out this easily anyway.

(It never crosses his mind that maybe,  _maybe_  Woojin just wants to spend time with him.)

Before he knows it, lunch is over and they head back to their schedule. If anything goes according to plan, Jihoon will be finished by 5:30, which is a bit earlier than most days he’s had filming.

As expected, that doesn't happen. Sejeong, the main actress, starts feeling unwell during the second scene of the afternoon and has to get some air and first aid. The filming gets delayed by a good thirty minutes before they’re good to go again. Luckily Jihoon knows Sejeong is a strong person who is also extremely focused on her job. All she needed was some water and a glucose booster to get back on her feet and feel a bit better. By the time they can restart though, the workflow has kind of been broken and the actors stumble over their lines more than usual. They also take it a little slower than earlier, given Sejeong’s condition and the general fatigue on set.

It’s 6:15 by the time they’re wrapping up, a whole forty-five minutes late, and Jihoon spent at least the last thirty minutes nervously fidgeting in between takes.

When the director yells a resolute ‘ _Cut!_ ’ at the finale scene for the day, Jihoon bows and tells everyone good job, both out of sincerity and courtesy. He foregoes his trip to the make-up artist to get his face cleaned and ducks straight into the dressing room.

“What’s got you so hurried?” one of his co-actors, Hyunbin, asks, tone full of amusement.

“Oh. Uh… A friend is picking me up and I feel bad having kept him waiting for this long,” he says, before giving the guy a polite smile and taking his leave. “See you soon!”

Jihoon all but sprints outside of the building. His phone was at low battery last time he checked and he prays it’s still alive so he can call Woojin and make sure the younger hasn’t left yet or thinks he’s been stood up. What he finds is his iPhone on 3% battery and two texts from Woojin. He slows down as he reads them and heaves a sigh of relief. The first one says “ _Sorry, stuck in traffic :-(((_ ” and is from approximately 35 minutes ago. The second one, from 15 minutes ago says “ _The guy @ the entrance says you're still filming so ill wait there._ ”

As Jihoon navigates towards the entrance of the filming site, a third text comes in.

> **Woojinie [05:29PM]:** _Please hurry tho it’s hot and i’m meltiiiiiiiiing_

Jihoon laughs despite himself and picks up his pace again into a steady jog. The school grounds where they’re filming aren’t spectacularly huge, but there was a safety and privacy perimeter for people who wanted to come and lurk.

When he spots Woojin in the distance he coincidentally feels his heart jump against his ribcage, and Thank God he’s running so he can attribute it to his shitty stamina.

“Hey! Park Woojin!”

The younger looks up and grins at Jihoon, before running up to him and meeting him halfway. “Hey,” Woojin says and briefly studies Jihoon before pulling him into a brief hug. It’s a bit sweaty and should be uncomfortable, but Jihoon finds himself not minding.

“So,” the younger says when he pulls away. He puts his hands in his pockets and waits for Jihoon to lead the way. Jihoon looks at Woojin for a brief second before deciding that nope, this is _dangerous_. He’s wearing loose jeans and a simple black t-shirt that bares his arms. And God, _those arms_ , huh?

It’s not that he hasn’t seen Woojin in a t-shirt before or anything. When they practice Woojin sometimes wears tank tops, which is considerably  _worse_. Jihoon tells himself this is just a moment of fatigue-induced weakness and to get his head out of the gutter.

“I promised you a tour, didn’t I?” Jihoon manages to say, and yes, good, doing _great_!

Woojin grins again, baring his teeth including his snaggletooth. How does he _smile_ so much? Jesus. “You did. Are you still gonna? You look tired. Maybe you should get some rest.”

“Are you kidding me? Of course I am, you didn’t come all the way here to just pick me up. That’d be shitty. Let’s go.”

Jihoon tugs at his arm to get him into motion as Woojin mutters something among the lines of “ _We’re literally just in Seoul though_ ” and “ _You really look exhausted_ ”.

But fatigue can’t stop him, because he thinks that the way Woojin’s face lights up the moment they walk on set gives him enough energy to make it through at least another _week_ , no doubt.

This is where Jihoon feels most at ease. He’s learned over the past few years to consider a drama set like home. Because that’s what it becomes time and time again. This time around he’s lucky he got a second lead that doesn’t have to show up as second leads usually do, because while he already spends a lot of time here, he knows from experience that sometimes main actors spend more time on set in one week than they do at their own homes in a whole month. He heard that Sejeong even brought some blankets and a pillow from her house.

Jihoon considers himself lucky, being able to do two things at the same time, even though it’s hard. He’s heard the stories from Seongwoo and a whole bunch of his other idol-actor colleagues, what it’s like promoting and filming at the same time. Spoiler alert: it's hard. 

On his side, Woojin is marvelling at all the equipment. The fascinated _Ooh_ s snap Jihoon out of his train of thought. He doesn’t think it’s anything special anymore — he’s used to the cameras and the props and the lighting poles and everything else. He snorts at Woojin. “You act like you’ve never been on a set before. You’ve literally shot music videos before. Multiple, even.”

“Of course I have, but it’s just so _cool_! The scripts and the setting and everything. You out of all people should know it’s different!”

They walk to the auditorium where Jihoon had his scenes all day. It’s void of people right now, although he knows the director and some of the crew will still be around to discuss and review some things for the next few days. “This is where I’ve been all day,” Jihoon explains as he opens another door to reveal the room.

Woojin nods and looks around. “Hey, guide Park,” he ask innocently, “can I see your script?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s against the rules. If you want to know what my lines are, you should watch the drama once it airs.”

The younger sighs and pouts at that, and Jihoon laughs at the reversal of it all. He knows Woojin as a _trickster_ , as someone who’s loud and vocal, but also shy and timid sometimes. Pouting, though, is more Jihoon’s brand.

“What’s your role even? Don’t tell me I need to watch the drama because I _will_ , I’m just curious.”

“You will?”

Woojin nods and crosses his arms.

“Good,” Jihoon says as he walks further into the room, up to the stage in front of the auditorium.

Woojin follows him, nagging at his ear. “Hey! Ya! Tell me! Tell! me!”

Jihoon doesn’t say anything, but he heaves himself up on the small stage and sits on the edge, patting the space next to him and signalling Woojin to come sit next to him.

“It’s a high school drama where I play second lead,” Jihoon starts, and Woojin wolf-whistles at that.

“Second lead? Spicy.”

Woojin is lucky he’s so strong, otherwise Jihoon would’ve tried to push him off the edge he just sat down on. “Shut up. Anyway, there’s two groups of friends, maybe they’re even _gangs_ or whatever, and their leaders are fighting over the same girl. Just your basic high school cliché, I guess.”

“So you don’t get the girl?” Woojin asks. Jihoon can tell from the mockery in his voice he’s not genuinely asking.

“I will kick you off this stage, Park Woojin.”

“Try me,” Woojin says, but Jihoon doesn’t move to kick him or punch him in the arm as he would usually. Instead, he leans back on both hands and stares into the auditorium.

He bathes in the feeling for a while, being next to Woojin while being in a situation that he’s more familiar with than his own home. It’s like two worlds overlapping — his idol life and actor life merging. He briefly wonders if he’d ever even formally meet Woojin had it not been for the KBS show. _Maybe_ , because Daehwi is relentless and wants as many of his favourite people as possible to be friends especially if his words from their latest dinner are anything to go by, but still. Spending time together, working on a reluctant, broken dream, it’s different.

Jihoon feels like he’s known Woojin for years now. They click, just like that.

Which is exactly why he’s been pushing away his Feelings (capital F, still), because being friends with Woojin is just nice, comfortable. Trying to get more out of it may be too early, too dangerous. It may cause misunderstandings or conflicts. No, he likes what they have now, even if the touches and the hugs are going to be the end of him. He’ll get over whatever it is he’s feeling.

“You know, I’m really proud of you,” Woojin says suddenly, snapping Jihoon’s attention back to him. “You’ve taken quite a few leaps lately, huh?”

He sits up straight at that. “What do you mean?”

“I just mean that you’ve been doing a lot of stuff. Getting back into this whole idol thing even if it’s just for a while, taking dance lessons, and combining it with a drama.”

Jihoon shrugs. “A lot of people do that.”

He doesn’t notice he’s fidgeting with his hands until Woojin leans over, reaches out and places one of his own over Jihoon’s. “Stop that, you’re making me nervous,” he says, but his voice is light as a feather. There’s a small smile playing on his lips when he looks at the other.

“I know a lot of people do,” Woojin then continues, hand still covering Jihoon’s own, “but I’m just proud of you, let me be.” Followed by another smile and wow, is Woojin blushing? No way. It _is_ kind of warm in here still despite the air conditioning, so that must be it.

“You’re really doing great, Jihoon. Just...look at you,” and okay, now Woojin sounds incredibly fond and Jihoon’s heart may give out if he doesn’t stop that soon. “Doing all these things. I know we haven’t like… known each other for a very long time, but I can tell you’re a hard worker. Daehwi says so too.”

“Yeah well, Daehwi is full of shit,” Jihoon laughs a little uncomfortably. He doesn’t really know where to look or what else to say.

Woojin laughs too at that, but it doesn’t take long before his expression softens again. “You look really tired, though. In your element, but tired.”

He just nods numbly at that. He _is_ tired but he’s comfortable here. It’s nearing 6:30PM and they should probably head home before accidentally getting locked in throughout the night. He looks at Woojin for a second then, and oh wow, _mistake_.

Mistake, because Woojin’s face is so incredibly close he’s surprised their noses haven’t painfully bumped yet.

He feels Woojin's fingers intertwine with his. “Oh,” Jihoon says, but his mind is turning into a mixture of mush and one giant key smash, so he doesn’t move.

Woojin’s gaze flicks from Jihoon’s eyes to his mouth and back up. _Oh_.

He doesn’t know who’s leaning in, but it doesn’t matter. Moments before Jihoon feels like his heart will leap out of his chest, a door slams in the distance and they both jump in surprise. Jihoon notices the vivid blush on Woojin’s face and well, it’s a sight to behold.

Woojin looks at Jihoon and opens his mouth to say something, but never gets the chance to. The door of the auditorium opens and the director walks in.

“Oh, Jihoon, you’re still here?”

Jihoon nods. Obviously, as long as the ground doesn't swallow him whole right now.

“You should go home, they’re closing up soon.”

“Yeah,” he says a little numbly before letting go and jumping off the edge of the stage. He turns to Woojin and hesitates for a second. Then, he extends his hand.

Woojin takes it, grasps it, even. He jumps off the stage as well and joins Jihoon by his side. “You’ve seen everything you want to see?” Jihoon asks, only to say _something_ that makes even a little bit of sense.

The younger looks at him, seemingly in a bit of a daze as well, but nods. “Yeah,” he replies.

When Jihoon looks at Woojin back then, he decides. Their fingers briefly intertwine again before Jihoon is leading them both outside. “Okay,” he says, “let’s go then. Let’s get some coffee on the way back.”

When they leave the building, they automatically let go of each other’s hands, but the warmth Jihoon is feeling stays. He’s sure that this time, it’s not because of the weather. Not at all.

What the hell just even happened?


	3. iii

Time flies when you’re having fun. Or when you’re busy. Or in this case both, Jihoon guesses.

Time flies even faster when you’re tired and a little bit confused.

Jihoon barely even knows what day it is at this point, he lives from schedule to schedule and from practice room to drama set.

It’s only a few more weeks before the Big Day and Jihoon’s first (and last?) music show performance in a long while, which coincidentally is also the end of their little project group. It’s late June and in three weeks this will all be over.

He’s always had a hard time with endings, and this is no different. He wishes he didn’t get attached this easily to things, because endings generally suck _especially_ when you’re attached.

Over the past five and a half weeks, he’s started to enjoy what he’s doing again. For a plethora of reasons. And it shows, apparently. That, or Woojin is just good at easily picking up on whatever Jihoon is thinking.

“Can I make an assumption?” the younger asks one day. They’re walking back to Woojin’s company building. They had met up ‘practice’, even though once again it turned out to be anything but. The weather was nice, so Woojin offered that they go for ice cream instead and decided not to tell their managers in case they’d get scolded for their diets.

“Sure.” Jihoon quickly wipes his hands on his pants before putting them in his pockets.

Woojin bites his lip for a brief second before he speaks. They’re merely one block away from where they have to be. “I think you’re starting to love dancing again. Correct?”

Jihoon pretends to give it a thought, although the answer is out there loud and clear. Then, he says: “I guess. I mean… it’s not like I ever hated it.” Which isn’t a lie but not the entire truth.

“That’s true but, you know, this whole idol thing—” Woojin doesn’t finish because he knows Jihoon understands. ‘This whole idol thing’ made an unexpected return and Jihoon was more than reluctant to give it a shot again. He didn’t know what it was like anymore — the practices, the singing, the dancing. It felt alien, like it wasn’t supposed to be this way, because Jihoon had told himself so years ago.

Jihoon just shrugs. “It was unexpected, yeah. I mean… you’re right, I do love it. I realised that I missed it? I think?”

He’s thought about it a lot. Especially since the day they recorded their songs. Being back in the recording studio felt like entering an old friend’s house — a little awkward, yet so familiar. Once behind the microphone, Jihoon found himself having some difficulty with trying to be comfortable. The composer of their title track, a guy named Hwitaek, reassured him more than a composer probably should.

He’s also really thankful his groupmates are some of the best people he could have asked for. They talk about these things sometimes when the cameras are off and they’re lingering after practice or getting dinner together after a particularly long day. Especially with Seongwoo, who is his respected senior and saw Jihoon debut — both as an idol and an actor — and reassures him that he’s doing just fine. “ _Look, even the netizens say so!_ ”

And yet.

Yet he feels a little pathetic sometimes, when he struggles. He should have _experience_. There have been groups who have had longer hiatuses than Jihoon’s leave from the idol industry, and they still do well when they return, so why can’t he? He tries to tell himself that it’s okay, everyone does these things differently and that every situation is different. But he still feels a bit lacking sometimes. 

_‘You’re really doing great, Jihoon. Just look at you.’_

A voice in his head reminds him of last week, and of how warm and sincere those words felt. How those words had been the thing that had gotten him through the song recording in the end. Jihoon looks to his side, where Woojin is walking next to him as the sun beats down on his face.

They reach the building and the dancer pushes the door open to let Jihoon enter first. It’s busier than usual at the Brand New Music offices, because it’s a Monday and Jihoon also knows Woojin and Daehwi’s group is gearing up for a comeback sometime near the end of next month.

Woojin doesn’t answer to that immediately, but he does seem to be thinking about something. They greet the people behind the reception desk and anyone else they run into, but then they’re quickly alone again and walking to the practice room through the web of corridors Jihoon still hasn’t gotten used to despite all these weeks here. Woojin grabs his hand once he’s sure there’s no one around here except coincidentally his groupmates. He says, voice quiet, “I’m glad you found your way back.”

Ever since that moment on Jihoon’s drama set, Woojin has been driving the touching up to the _max_. It’s the first time they met up since then, but Woojin seems… _cuddly?_ Is that even a word to describe someone like Park Woojin?

But yes, cuddly, touchy, whatever. It had been building up for a while, since even from before the busking, which feels like a lifetime ago. But after they nearly kissed last week (That had happened, right? That was what had been about to happen?) Jihoon feels like this is so much more.

It’s becoming unbearable.

Mostly because they don’t bring it up. They don’t but Jihoon really wants to. His feelings for Woojin keep his mind occupied the moment he gets a second for himself (which isn’t often these days, but enough to feel like it’s on his mind _all the time_ ).

They might be dating, who knows.

He certainly doesn’t.

It’s been something he’s been toying with since the last time Daehwi and him went for dinner and Daehwi had said something about them practically dating. He hates it, wanting to admit Daehwi is right. He’s stubborn like that. Which leaves him with no one to talk to, really. Jisung, maybe, but somehow he’s not too sure if it’s something he wants to discuss with his _manager_.

Jihoon gets snapped out of his thoughts when they enter the familiar corridor of the practice room. It’s then that he becomes acutely aware that they’re still holding hands.

They’re still holding hands when Woojin uncomfortably fishes his key out of his pocket and unlocks the practice room door.

They’re still holding hands when Woojin tugs him towards the sound equipment and scrolls through his iPhone to find the audio of Wanna Be’s song Jihoon had sent him last week.

They’re still holding hands when the music starts and Woojin looks up to meet Jihoon’s eyes.

Then, Woojin gently rubs his thumb across the top of Jihoon’s hands and lets go. “I forgot where we left off, so let’s take it from the top again.”

 

 

After, when they’re both exhausted and leaning against the mirror trying to catch their breaths, Woojin says: “Your routine is nearly perfect. I don’t understand why we’re still doing this.”

There’s no malice in his tone. It’s more like a push. A question, perhaps. _Do you still even want to do this_?

Because they both know Jihoon is way past needing help with his dancing anymore.

What Jihoon says is: “Well, more practice won’t hurt anyone.”

But what he means is this: “I like spending time with you and if I can see you like this then I’ll do exactly this for another lifetime.”

 

* * *

Like a stack of blocks, constantly building up, everything is meant to crash down eventually. It should come as a surprise, but it was bound to happen.

It’s definitely not the end of the world, tomorrow is another day, but Jihoon still ends up feeling really fucking awful.

This is how it goes:

It’s a Friday morning, two weeks before the Big Day when Jihoon oversleeps and manages to wake up half an hour late with a horrible headache. Then, he accidentally drops one of his favourite mugs in the sink while in a hurry which causes the handle to break off. Followed by that, he accidentally scrapes the palm of his hand trying to clean up and _because of that_ he’s running even later than he already was.

Jisung is insistent on safe driving so they don’t cross the speed limit on the way or get themselves into any particularly dangerous situations. He calls it safety precautions. Jihoon sometimes attributes it to the fact Jisung is kind of a bad driver, which earns him a smack on the arm more often than not.

Needless to say, the start of the day is chaotic, and Jihoon would rather go back home and take a nap until he feels like he’s able to function like a normal human being again. He isn’t even sure where he has to be first — all he knows is that it’s set to be one of the busiest days in this generally extremely busy week with both his drama filming and the practices for the program overlapping. 

On the way he learns he has filming for his drama from eight (or eight-thirty now, he guesses) until about three in the afternoon, and music video filming from four until… whenever it finishes. Jihoon only knows this because Jisung rapidly blabbers his schedule to him while they are driving to the school grounds where filming takes place. Jihoon makes a mental note to ask the company to give the man a raise or something. Also to love and cherish his manager forever because man, what would he be without Jisung.

So, the first location of the day happens to be on his drama set. They arrive late on set by 45 minutes and the director only looks _mildly_ annoyed. Jihoon attributes the 'mild' to the fact he has worked with him a few times so he knows the young actor is usually more reliable than this. The man lets it slide with a minor scolding and an eye roll. They had already started on another scene while they had waited for Jihoon’s arrival, so he gets rushed into hair and make-up immediately before getting sent on set.

It starts getting a bit cloudy by the time Jihoon arrives at the studio, but it’s still extremely warm. The weather forecast had said it would storm the next few days because of the extremely hot weather lately. Great. Just peachy. Just what he needed.

Jihoon can’t seem to get into his element today. The lines of his script keep blurring in front of his eyes and his focus is less than minimal. It’s probably because of the hectic morning he’s had on his way here combined with the constant fatigue he’s been feeling that continues to get worse. He can’t seem to concentrate and hasn’t gotten a moment to get really _into_ his role, which is what he usually needs. It makes it even harder.

Luckily he has the weekend off.

But he has to make it through this day first.

While filming, he stumbles over his lines a few times. Some scenes need two or three more retakes than usual, but the crew reassure him it’s fine. Well, it’s _not fine_. He expects better from himself and how well he does. So on top of everything, he’s becoming noticeably more stressed about that as well.

It gets a lot better after one of the crew members brings him a cup of coffee and Sejeong mutters a quick “ _Fighting!”_ at him between takes. But he does end up leaving with conflicted feelings that afternoon — fatigue being the most prominent one, combined with stress and maybe a hinge of sadness. It’s natural for these things to happen, he reminds himself. People have bad days, mess up, make mistakes. It’s supposed to be reassuring, the whole _human_ aspect of the job, but he still feels disappointed with himself. That’s the word he was looking for, disappointment.

He just hopes the afternoon is a bit better. It has to be, because he has no idea when this day will be over.

Due to the Wanna Be members’ busy schedules, the music video shooting had to be divided into two parts. The first part was filmed last week and had taken until nearly 2AM to wrap up. The second part, which mostly consists of the dancing parts, is set to be recorded this afternoon in a studio near Hongdae. Wanna Be’s debut song has a bright, colourful concept and Jihoon cheers up a little the moment he enters the set and sees Seongwoo smack Hyungseob on the head with the beanie he was wearing for making a bad joke, followed by a laugh only Ong Seongwoo can pull off.

He’s lucky his make-up only needs a bit of touching up (the only upside of having to be in multiple places in the same day) and his hair only needs to be restyled, so it doesn’t take long before all the members of Wanna Be are ready and in their positions to begin filming.

His hopes of ending at a decent time ( _read: before 2AM_ ) shatter when the clock strikes midnight and they still have a bunch of stuff left to film. Contrary to popular belief dance scenes take longer than one might think, especially if there’s at least two outfit and set changes paired with it. They had taken a break for an hour a while back, to have dinner. Jihoon, having realised it had been his first proper meal of the day, welcomed it with gratitude.

Midnight turns into 2AM which turns into 4AM and eventually Hyungseob and his manager drop him off at his apartment complex at the crack of dawn on Friday morning. Jisung had told him to just call when filming wrapped up, but he hadn’t had the heart to wake him up and Hyungseob had offered anyway.

He shoots the manager a quick text before hopping into the shower and collapsing into bed straight after. The clock on his phone reads 7:32AM and Jihoon is just glad he can become one with his sheets for a few hours.

He’s on the brink of sleep when he gets a feeling he’s forgetting something but can’t pinpoint what. His vision blurs and his head becomes fuzzy when he rolls over and tries picking up his phone to check his calendar. Before he even gets the chance to unlock, his fatigue gets the best of him and he falls into a deep, dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

  

When he wakes up it’s well past two in the afternoon and it seems to be raining outside. Jihoon finds his phone tossed aside and on the brink of falling off of his bed.

He picks it up, only to notice his battery died while he was sleeping. Plugging it in, he gets up and pads to the kitchen. Jisung, as per usual, brought him some food yesterday as he came to pick him up. Sometimes that guy is more like his mother rather than his manager, but he’s not complaining.

He heats up his breakfast-and-probably-lunch, sits down at the kitchen table and skims through one of the magazines he left lying around as he eats. He gets dressed in comfortable clothes that aren’t his pyjamas and watches some old Running Man reruns on his television.

The entire time, though, he can’t shake off the same nagging feeling he fell asleep with this morning: he’s forgetting something. Something important. He thinks of what it could be. He has his belongings he took to the set yesterday — his wallet, his phone, his extra eyedrops. It’s not like he had a schedule today either. Jisung would have reminded him or worse, be banging on his door by now. He thinks it over but decides it’s probably his tired brain giving him some anxiety.

Spoiler alert: _it’s not_.

He doesn’t realise what it is until it’s well past 4PM and he goes to unplug his phone in his bedroom, only to be met with a myriad of missed calls and messages. Granted, it’s not the 30 missed calls and 100 text messages he reads about in those ‘relatable’ online posts, but it’s enough to have his heart sink.

 _Woojin_ _._

Fuck.

Jihoon still thought he was meant to meet Woojin on _Sunday_ but forgot they had rescheduled to earlier today because Woojin had an unexpected schedule.

God.

He scrolls through his notifications as a knot forms in his stomach.

 

> **Woojinie [11:32AM]:** _R u okay?_ _You’re not here yet_
> 
> **Woojinie [11:55AM]:** _Jihoon?_
> 
> **Woojinie [12:23PM]:** _?_
> 
> **Woojinie [12:25PM]:** _If it’s something i did then i’m sorry.._
> 
> **Woojinie [12:26PM]:** _But if it’s not i just hope ur ok? Yea_
> 
> **Woojinie [1:20PM]:** _Can u at least call me when u see these so we can talk abt this lol_
> 
> **Woojinie [2:55PM]:** _Sorry_

 

Jihoon loses track of his surroundings, but feels himself sit down on the floor. He stood him up. He stood him up and it was on accident but he feels fucking _horrible_.

He opens his Phone app and it’s then that he starts to feel hopeless.

 

> _(6) missed calls from_ **Woojinie**

 

As quickly as he can, with shaking hands, he calls him back. The phone rings for what sounds like an eternity before it goes over to voicemail.

He calls again.

And again.

And once more.

By the fourth attempt he lets out a dry sob. No tears yet, despite the burning behind his eyes.

The last part of his rationality tells him to call Daehwi. Daehwi will know what to do, Daehwi always does.

Daehwi picks up after the second ring. “Park Jihoon, I swear to God—”

“Is Woojin there?”

A beat of silence passes, before he hears a muffled _What’s going on?_ from a voice that sounds a lot like Woojin’s. Maybe it’s his desperation toying with his imagination. Before Daehwi can confirm or deny, Jihoon continues. “If he is can you please tell him to pick up the phone or something. Fuck, _fuck_ , Daehwi it was an accident, but I fucked up...”

“He’s… present, yes. Do you want me to just pass on the phone? I think hyung just left his in his room a while ago.” The exasperation in Daehwi’s voice seems to be ebbing away, changing to what Jihoon vaguely identifies as concern.

“That’d be great. Daehwi, I’m sorry…”

Jihoon’s voice cracks at the last syllable and all he can think about is how pathetic and panicky he sounds. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” he replies, before heaving a sigh. “You two are just so _stupid_. God. Just talk to Woojin.”

And then there’s a bit of shuffling on the other end of the line as Daehwi passes on the phone and Woojin splutters as he takes it.

Followed by a few beats of silence. Jihoon holds his breath and decides to count to five.

One.

Two.

“ _Jihoon_?”

And suddenly, his vision blurs and he can vaguely tell he’s crying. He’s crying and wow, that’s embarrassing. Maybe in an hour or so he’ll look back on this and wallow in his own self-deprecation, but for now he’s just glad Woojin is there and somehow seems like he’s willing to hear him out and Jihoon just feels so, so guilty.

“Hey, hey, are you crying? Jihoon?”

Woojin’s voice is thick with concern, and Jihoon needs a few moments to collect himself and tell himself it’s just a small mistake and that Woojin will understand.

“I… I fell asleep and forgot about us changing plans and I only woke up two hours ago and my phone died and I’m sorry. _Fuck_ ,” he says in one breath and without hesitation, just in case Woojin _won’t_ hear him out.

But Woojin is Woojin. And he’ll always be Woojin. Woojin, who is patient with him and never seems to get mad. Woojin, who takes initiative rather than sitting there and doing nothing. Woojin, who is Jihoon’s rubik’s cube and favourite puzzle. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise but it does when Jihoon doesn’t hear the younger’s words of comfort but instead hears him say: “Are you home?”

Jihoon nods tiredly with tears somehow still streaming down his face, before realising Woojin can’t see him. “Yeah.”

“Good. I’ll have Daehwi give me your address. I’m coming over because you sound like you need a hug and someone to talk to.”

Before Jihoon can even form any kind of reply, he adds, “And Jihoon? _It’s okay_.” before the line goes dead.

 

* * *

 

Woojin is a man of his word, Jihoon is aware of this. So when he hears someone knock on the door of his apartment not even an hour later, he knows who it is.

“Hi, the receptionist let me go ahead because I said I was here for you and she knew who I was,” Woojin says as Jihoon opens his door. Jihoon is about to greet him and invite him in when he sees Woojin give him a once-over before his eyes land on his face.

“Holy shit,” Woojin says as he leans in closer. He grabs Jihoon’s face with both hands and studies him. It feels… intimate, a little too intimate, but Jihoon doesn’t pull away. “You look exhausted.”

Jihoon gives a dry laugh and tries averting his eyes to anywhere but Woojin, but he can’t. “What gives?”

“No wonder,” he murmurs as he full-on cups Jihoon’s jaw now and continues to study his face. He quickly wipes his thumbs over Jihoon’s cheeks and under his eyes. Jihoon, in the meantime, is honestly surprised his legs didn’t turn into jelly yet.

Woojin leans back, but doesn’t let go of Jihoon yet. “People would think you went shopping, with those bags under your eyes,” he says in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

Jihoon huffs at that, but he already feels a lot better than he did even ten minutes ago. “I can’t believe you rushed all the way here to make fun of me.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Woojin says as he smiles, snaggletooth and everything. He finally lets go of Jihoon before walking past him into the apartment. “Anyway, let’s order takeout. You’re paying as a way to make amends. Also, I get to pick the movie we’re watching.”

Jihoon puts his hands on his hips in an attempt of feigned annoyance, but the relief that washes over him is beyond words. Jihoon adds this to never-ending list of _This is how they work_. This is how they interact, how things go between them — Woojin walking into his apartment for the very first time and immediately making it seem like this is where he belongs.

(He wants to add: he does belong here. He should.)

“We’re on diets,” he starts. Woojin, who has taken a seat on the couch just raises his eyebrows in dismissal.

“Fine then. I want chicken. I’m not paying unless it’s for chicken.”

“Sure thing.”

Jihoon quickly dials the number of his favourite restaurant and orders for the both of them. By the time he gets off the phone, Woojin has figured out how Jihoon’s TV works and is browsing through his Netflix account. In the end he settles on a scary-looking American movie they both know they won’t pay attention to anyway.

He presses play as Jihoon walks into the living room with a two bottles of beer he still had in the fridge. “You really made yourself comfortable huh.”

Woojin doesn’t miss a beat when he responds. “Always, when it’s with you.”

Screw Woojin and his unashamed tendencies to make Jihoon’s heart flutter. He feels a blush creep up on him, but quickly tries to distract himself by opening the bottles and handing one to Woojin.

The younger takes the bottle, but his eyes linger on Jihoon’s hand for a moment too long. As Jihoon sits down next to him, he tentatively reaches out.

“Your hand.”

“What about it— Oh, yeah.” He sees a faint scar on his palm from when he dropped his mug yesterday. It’s nothing severe, really. Just a thin, red scar that will probably be gone in a few days. When Jihoon tells Woojin this, the dancer still looks up at him in concern.

“You klutz…” he says, shaking his head. He takes Jihoon’s hand and intertwines their fingers together. “You’re going to be the end of me. I was so worried, you know.”

Jihoon swallows at that. “Yeah, I’m… I’m really sorry about it.” And he means it.

In response, Woojin just squeezes his hand briefly before reluctantly letting go. “It’s all good. Just take it easy.”

“As if that’s a possibility with our lives.”

“Touché.”

They sit in silence for a while as the movie plays. It’s supposed to be a horror movie, judging by the eerie and tense music. When the doorbell rings, signaling someone’s waiting downstairs, they both jump up in surprise for a second. They stare at each other’s shocked faces for a moment before both bursting out in laughter.

 _It’s easy like this_ , Jihoon thinks as he gets up and grabs his wallet to accept their delivery. It’s easy, being with Woojin like this. How they clicked, how they grew to be like this in such a short amount of time.

Jihoon is fine with this, he realises. Feelings aside, Jihoon deems himself lucky that someone like Park Woojin made himself a home into his heart, his life.

 

 

They eat on the couch. Quietly, for the most part, aside from Woojin throwing in some remarks at the predictable plot of the movie.

“Why did you pick this movie if you’re just going to complain!” Jihoon says in fake exasperation.

“This is a country of free speech, Jihoon!” the younger retorts which earns him an eye roll and a kick in the legs.

When they’re finished, Jihoon picks up the buckets and places them neatly in the kitchen. He returns to what looks like Woojin being in deep thought.

They sit there for a while, and Jihoon feels on edge because Woojin seems to be chewing on something to say. They’ve been staring at the television for God knows how long now, but neither have been paying attention. That much is obvious.

“To be honest,” the younger starts after a while. He’s not looking at Jihoon. “Earlier, I kind of thought you wouldn’t want to see me, or something.”

His voice sounds unusually small. The words make Jihoon flinch a little.

He turns to Woojin and waits until the other looks back at him. When their eyes finally meet, he asks: “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. It’s just… the last few times we saw each other,” Woojin starts to say, but he trails off and looks somewhere else. Jihoon just stares numbly at him, but something in the back of his mind is telling him that he knows _exactly_ what this is about.

The younger bites his lip and closes his eyes. Jihoon thinks it might starts bleeding if he doesn’t stop immediately.

“Jihoon, what are we, really?”

Oh. He doesn’t know what to respond to that. He doesn’t, because Jihoon knows very well what his feelings for Woojin mean but he’s scared of what Woojin might think about that. He gapes at Woojin for a few seconds and the other just look at him, head slightly tilted and gaze patient.

As fate and timing would have it, one of the women on the television lets out a blood-curdling scream before Jihoon can even start forming a reply. Both of them jump at the sudden sound. Jihoon, on instinct, grabs Woojin’s hand in the process.

Before he can even think of pulling away, Woojin tightens his grip and looks at Jihoon, gaze soft and questioning. Jihoon doesn’t dare look up, but he feels Woojin’s eyes on him. Their fingers interlock, slowly this time.

Jihoon looks at their hands a bit too long before he can manage to look at Woojin. When their eyes meet, Jihoon feels his heart beating in his throat. His thoughts are running at the speed of light and Jihoon can’t keep up with himself.

The air is charged, they both feel it. This might just be their chance to find out. Woojin rubs his thumb across Jihoon’s hand and his gaze softens even more when he feels Jihoon shiver at the touch.

Everything happens fast, then. Woojin’s look of fondness switches into both uncertainty but also determination, and suddenly their faces are impossibly close. It's exactly like that time on Jihoon's set, except right now there will be no one to open any doors and distract them from what they're doing.

There is nothing stopping them now. Good, because neither of them want to.

He doesn’t know who leaned in first, who made the first move. All he knows is that Woojin’s lips are definitely on his and that it feels like everything he’s wanted and more.

It’s nice. It’s… _nice_. Like the final piece of the puzzle, the final twist of the rubik's cube. He doesn’t even know what else to think, brain having short-circuited and everything except for this becoming irrelevant. Jihoon is vaguely aware of Woojin letting go of his hand to cup his face instead.

He doesn’t hesitate before wrapping his arms around the other’s waist, trying to pull him closer as if that was even possible.

When Woojin rubs his thumbs across Jihoon’s cheeks and gently bites on the other’s bottom lip, Jihoon lets out a stifled moan in response.

Woojin pulls back, then, and Jihoon feels dizzy as the presses his forehead against the other’s and catches his breath. The younger leans back for a moment, his eyes tentatively scanning Jihoon’s face for any traces of discomfort or anything else. When he’s met with nothing but Jihoon's blissful gaze, he seems to decide to lean back in and press their lips together again. Jihoon welcomes it with ease.

He feels his skin burning as the younger moves his hands away from Jihoon’s jaw and pushes his shoulders lightly until he’s lying down on the couch. They don’t come apart as Woojin carefully leans over until he’s nearly entirely on top of Jihoon and slides his tongue against the other’s lips until he opens his mouth.

It becomes more desperate then, Jihoon hands on the back of the younger’s neck, not willing to let him go. He vaguely feels Woojin slide a knee between his legs for a more comfortable position. There's fire blossoming in his chest — Jihoon feels like he's burning under Woojin's touch, but he doesn't want to stop.

It’s stronger than him when Jihoon slides his hands from Woojin’s back to under his shirt. He heaves a breathless laugh when he hears Woojin hiss against his lips.

They kiss, and kiss, and kiss. And Jihoon doesn’t want this to stop — doesn’t want Woojin to pull away, wants time to stand still so they can do this forever.

He doesn’t know how long they’re lying there, hands roaming, kisses going from rough to slow and lazy, before Woojin’s phone rings on the table and he reluctantly untangles himself from Jihoon.

It’s when Jihoon looks at the other boy through half-lidded eyes that the weight of what just happened settles in. He swallows hard and he looks at how disheveled Woojin looks, how he answers his phone with a low “ _Hello_ ”.

Jihoon doesn’t focus on what Woojin is saying into the receiver of his phone, instead his mind is slowly getting less hazy and his thoughts slowly start running again. He wonders how long they could have done this for, how far they would have gone if not for Woojin's phone ringing.

How  _dangerous_ this really is.

“Yeah… I know… Yeah… Yes, hyung,” he vaguely hears Woojin say.

When the younger hangs up and looks at Jihoon again, the air around them consists of a tinge of awkwardness they’ve never experienced around each other. Not even when they first met did it feel like this between them.

Woojin clears his throat. “That was Youngmin. He was… worried about where I was, I guess? Uh, I should get going. We have a schedule tomorrow and we need to be at the salon by 5AM and, yeah.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Our manager is on his way here, he should be here soon.”

Jihoon just nods numbly in response.

“You should get some rest,” Woojin adds when it’s clear there isn’t going to be an immediate verbal response from Jihoon.

To that, Jihoon says, “Yeah, you too. Good luck tomorrow, I’ll be rooting for you.”

He notices the younger’s hands briefly twitching, as if he wants to reach out but decides against it. Jihoon gets up and follows Woojin to the door, watching as he takes his coat off of the rack he’d hurriedly thrown it on a few hours ago.

What makes him say it, Jihoon doesn’t know, but when Woojin opens his mouth to say goodbye Jihoon blurts out an unintelligent “I’m sorry again, for like… you know…”

He isn't even sure what he's apologising for anymore — the incident from earlier, sure, but maybe for _this_ too.

Woojin just smiles softly, and it’s then that Jihoon notices his eye crinkles. Jihoon just watches as the other takes a step closer to him, and gently puts his hands on his shoulders. “You’ve long since been forgiven, Jihoon. It wasn’t a big deal,” Woojin says, before standing on his tiptoes and planting a brief peck on Jihoon’s forehead, then his cheek, then the corner of his mouth.

“I’ll get going now.” A kiss on the lips.

Jihoon wants to pull him back, grab his wrists and reel him in again. Maybe ask him what all of this meant. Shouldn’t they at least talk about this and what it means for them?

Instead, he answers with a dazed, “ _Yeah,_ ” before watching the younger open the door and gently close it again.


	4. iv

Nothing says kicking off a new month quite like having an existential crisis does.

There are a few reasons for this:

Reason number one: It’s less than ten days before their first and final performance and Jihoon is feeling all sorts of conflicted about it.

Reason number two: The more time passes the more he realises he doesn’t know what he wants anymore. Maybe, just maybe, going back into music and regular dancing, even a little, doesn't sound like such a terrible idea.

Reason number three, which is probably the most important factor in this: _Woojin_.

Jihoon had gone to sleep and woken up with mixed feelings. Mixed in the sense that he felt so warm and _good_ , but also confused and unsure. Kissing Woojin had felt like fireworks. He wasn’t sure where to go with his feelings, where  to go from here, or how to sort this out. He figures the obvious route, which is _talking_ , won’t be as easy as it seems.

Daehwi isn’t an option. He trusts that kid with his life, but maybe Woojin-related matters aren’t such a smart idea now. He’ll just have to think about it by himself and hope Woojin is braver than he is.

He’s still brooding on it when he’s out on an impromptu lunch with Jisung after a small company meeting to review his upcoming schedules and potential future plans. The manager can definitely tell something is up, but doesn’t push it (yet). Jihoon’s thoughts keep running in circles and he zones out more than once, which in itself is frustrating enough.

When Jisung offers to get some ice cream on the way back home, Jihoon declines politely. He doesn’t say anything more for the short ride, until they pull over in the parking spot at the apartment complex.

Jihoon bids him a resigned goodbye, but as he reaches for the handle he notices the car door won’t open. Someone locked him in. _Jisung_ locked them in.

“Hyung, what the hell? Are you going to kidnap me or something?”

Jisung just raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him. “No? This is an intervention. I’m intervening.”

“What do I need an _intervention_ for?”

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Jisung shrugs as he turns off the car's contact entirely. “You keep zoning out and looking like you’re on the verge of some sort conflicted anxiety attack.”

Okay, touché. But how is Jihoon supposed to start with this?

He decides to buy himself some time. “Do you want to come in for a bit? It’s looks like it’s going to rain again soon.”

Jisung gives him an incredulous look. It’s strange, he’ll admit; Jihoon has never invited Jisung in. The man just comes and goes when he wants. He has a _spare key_ , for Goodness’ sake. In the end, though, he nods. “Sure.”

But the doors aren’t unlocked yet. “ _If_ you promise to say what’s going on. Otherwise I have no choice but to keep you hostage here until I force it out of you.”

“Fine.”

Jisung raises an eyebrow.

“I _promise_.”

“Good. Let’s go, before you change your mind and plan your great escape, Jihoon Houdini.”

 

Jihoon has to stick to his word, Jisung will make sure of that. He tries dragging it out, though. “Coffee or tea?”

“I’ll make myself a cup later if I need to, but thanks.”

Okay, there goes his attempt. Jisung waits patiently as Jihoon seats himself at the very same spot on the very same couch where Woojin kissed him yesterday. He sighs. He looks at Jisung. And then he talks, telling him everything he’s felt these past few weeks.

There’s a small moment of silence after Jihoon finishes. He knows it’s because Jisung is thinking of what he should say. Not in a judging matter, but in a way that Jisung always does: reassuring and calming, like he’s thinking of what could be the best advice he can give.

Jihoon had told him basically everything — both things Jisung probably knew already and most likely didn’t. He spared him the details, though.

“So you like Woojin?” Jisung finally concludes. It’s a question, but asked with a tone that implies the answer is already loud and clear.

Jihoon stays silent, but nods.

“And Woojin likes you?”

Okay, what the hell is this, middle school?

“Assuming he kissed me first last night, yeah,” he says a little exasperatedly. He really would rather not be having this conversation right now.

“ _Jihoon_ ,” Jisung then says in his _I’m going to lecture you but it’s not malicious and for your own good so please listen to me_ voice. “I’m your manager.”

“Yes.”

"And your friend."

He raises an eyebrow. "...Sure?"

“Yes, and I spent more time with you these past two years than anyone else wishes they could. So let me say this.”

And here it comes, right? Jisung will just tell him to let it go. That it’s dangerous. That it probably won’t work out. And he won’t be wrong, because Jisung is always right.

“Go for it.”

See. He knew this would happen. He _knew_ Jisung would say that—

Wait.

What.

“What.”

“You heard me.”

He did. But it doesn’t make sense. At all. Whatsoever. “I don’t get it.”

Jisung rolls his eyes. “I’m just saying. If Woojin likes you, and you like him, you should go for it.”

Jihoon doesn’t get it. “But he’s an _idol_ —”

“And you’re an actor. And it’s risky, I know that better than anyone. But Jihoon, when is the last time you’ve opened up to someone so deeply and so fast. When is the last time you’ve been _this_ happy to be around someone who wasn’t me or Daehwi. I’ve seen you miserable, like when you briefly dated that co-star of yours. Now that was just entirely...” he continues, but Jihoon isn’t listening anymore.

He just grunts and presses his eyes shut. Maybe Jisung is wrong this time. Maybe. He doesn’t know. At this point, he doesn’t know anything.

He’s not sure what he expected, but he certainly didn’t think his manager would actually encourage this.

As Jisung finishes his little speech of encouragement Jihoon only caught half of, he makes a decision. He decides to wait. Wait and see what Woojin says.

 

* * *

 

Woojin does not, in fact, say anything.

So they don’t talk about it.

He knows it’s easier to talk about these things. It’s basic communication. It’s what every drama has taught him — and he’s an actor who _plays in them_ , for God’s sake. It’s what Jihoon had told Daehwi too, when things were blossoming with Jinyoung.

It’s just that he’s bad at following his own advice.

It’s a busy time for both of them. Jihoon’s first and final music show performance is coming up in less than a _week_ and Woojin’s been busy with pre-comeback schedules and choreographing their dance, which had gotten green light from the company.

Things went back to as they always were; easy coexistence, banter and small talk. They just speak casually, the usual insults and offhand advice the same as it used to be. It’s fine, honestly. Maybe it’s good that they don’t talk about it.

Except maybe it kind of isn’t. Jihoon’s busy schedule _demands_ utmost focus on getting everything right so he doesn’t hold the other members and crew back, but his mind is somewhere else entirely. He’s overthinking, he knows he is, but he can’t stop.

Maybe in any other situation he could have pushed it back and repressed it for another few weeks, filed it away for later. But he’s tired. So tired. And he keeps thinking and thinking and creating scenarios in his head that all end up with it having been one big mistake.

Maybe Woojin only kissed him because he was having a bad day? If Jihoon hadn’t accidentally bailed on him, would it have changed anything?

Does Jihoon even like Woojin that way? Maybe it was his own fatigue and Woojin’s constant presence that led himself to believe that he did.

A small voice in the back of his head tells him that he might know the answer to that question. He decides to ignore it as long as he can.

A week passes. Things go on as usual, and it’s totally fine except for the moments Jihoon feels like he can’t breathe.

He checks his calendar, even though he knows exactly what day it is. Two days before Wanna Be’s stage at Music Bank. Two days and it’s over.

There is no decided plan yet for what happens after this. Jihoon just knows that after Friday, this all ends with one final performance — one final moment of truth.

He knows that on Wednesday the song and music video get released, and that their final episode airs right after Music Bank. Whatever gets filmed after the final episode, such as their wrap-up interviews, will get released in special clips.

It’s kind of a mess, Jihoon finds. But apparently some things had changed in the progress of the program and the planning had gotten a bit hazy. Whatever, he doesn't have the energy to care about it anymore.

Either way, what happens next, Jihoon isn’t sure. He has to focus on the rest of his drama filming before even thinking of any concrete next steps. He’s not even sure where he wants to go next. Jisung had sent him some screenshots of netizen comments talking about how they should just be a real group, how it’s a pity Park Jihoon doesn’t perform anymore. He had blurred out the few skeptical comments on the picture, which made Jihoon snort.

He’s well aware the company are looking into potential next steps that could broaden his horizons, but regardless of what think, he wants to take it day by day. Forces himself to do so. 

During one of their very last practices, Seongwoo plops down next to him. It’s quite late in the evening, but they’re still filming. Practice is over though, but they’re taking a small break before they have to film some of their final interviews in the room across the hall.

“Jihoonie,” he greets, hair tentatively reaching out to ruffle his hair. “How are you holding up?”

“I feel like my legs want to sue me for putting them through this.”

Seongwoo laughs at that, and it’s genuine. “Same, same.”

They sit in silence for a bit, both with their backs against the mirror as they observe their surroundings. Hyungseob and Seonho seem to be playing rock-paper-scissors as they bicker over something. One of the crew members is fiddling with one of the cameras. Nothing new.

Hyungseob gives them a look before he skids over to them. “Ong hyung, Jihoonie,” he starts, “please tell Seonho that pineapple on pizza is totally justified regardless of what his own preferences are!”

 _“Actually!”_ Seongwoo starts, as he joins in on the bickering. Jihoon watches the others go back and forth about pizza toppings out of all possible things to talk about with a smile on his face until Hyungseob and Seonho get whisked away for their interviews.

“Hey,” Seongwoo begins after a few moments of comfortable silence.

“Hello?” Jihoon answers, raising his eyebrows.

“Did you enjoy it, doing this whole thing? I can imagine you being reluctant about it all given your history.” His voice is casual, but Jihoon detects the genuine interest and maybe a bit of worry.

“I did, actually,” Jihoon says after a while. “I didn’t hate anything about it, looking back. Although the stress was a bit too much sometimes.”

Seongwoo nods. “I get that. It’s been a tough few weeks but you got a lot of help from around you.”

“That’s right! There was you, and the other members, and uh… Woojin and Daehwi…”

The glint in Seongwoo’s eyes tells Jihoon he’s said exactly what he wants to hear. He hums. “ _Hmmm_ … How are things between you and Woojin now, actually?”

Yep, there it is.

It’s a good question, but it’s one Jihoon has no answer to. They haven’t met with each other since what Jihoon has resorted to calling _the incident._

Nothing much had changed since their kiss. Except also everything kind of did. They just continued as per usual while the elephant in the room remained. The tension was...a lot. But they’d both been busy —  Jihoon got swooped up in the heat of going straight to the finish line of this project as Woojin has been excessively practicing and preparing for his comeback. They’ve texted as usual, though, and even facetimed once or twice.

They still haven’t talked about it or addressed it. They can talk about everything, about their feelings too, except when it comes to each other.

“Things are fine.”

“ _Just_ fine?”

“Just fine, yeah.”

Seongwoo turns himself entirely towards Jihoon as the younger reaches for his water bottle. “Daehwi told Youngmin who told me that there’s some, uh, unresolved tension… actually, _resolved_ tension between you? Are you dating or something?”

Wrong moment to drink from his bottle, it seems. Jihoon chokes at the words and starts coughing excessively.

Seongwoo scrambles closer and pats his back. “I assume that’s your answer.”

Jihoon coughs once again before clearing his throat and wiping his eyes. “It’s complicated,” he croaks.

“You should talk about it, you know.”

He _does_ know, thank you very much. It’s just easier said than done.

Jihoon starts thinking Seongwoo is a mind reader when he says, “It _is_ easy. You’ve mentioned him a few times, you know. You two seem close and Youngmin dotes on Woojin enough that I know he’s a good person too.”

Then, “You said that out loud, Jihoon, don’t give me that look.”

Before Jihoon can respond, or even _think_ about a possible response, one of the crew members walks in and tells Seongwoo it’s his turn. The older nods briefly before slowly getting up.

As he goes to leave, he turns around once more, very briefly.

“Just do it, Jihoon. Make each other happy, you deserve that.”

 

* * *

Jihoon is known to freak out under pressure. So when Woojin calls him the next night, things kind of escalate.

It’s D-Day in merely a few hours, and Jihoon feels as restless as he did before his busking, before his first _practice_. Just a few hours before he need to get up on that stage and perform and prove to himself and everyone else watching that he can do this, that it wasn’t fair that he never gave himself a second chance.

And on top of that, Seongwoo’s words keep ringing in his head.

 _Make each other happy, you deserve that_.

Their brief conversation last night cleared up the fog in Jihoon’s head and caused a lot more clarity than he was ready for.

So, Woojin calls him that night. Probably to catch up and to give him some strength. It’s nothing strange or unusual. Just friends catching up.

“Hey, where are you? The noise is a bit weird,” Jihoon asks over the phone.

“Oh, we’re heading back to the dorm. It’s getting late and I thought you’d be asleep by the time I get home, but I just wanted to talk to you for a bit, hear your voice.”

Woojin’s voice is soft, calm, fond. As it has always been when he talks to him.

But tonight, it makes something in Jihoon snap.

“Woojin.”

“Yeah?”

“What are we?”

A beat of silence. Jihoon remembers Woojin had asked him the exact same question less than two weeks ago, but he had never given an answer. Because he didn’t know _what_ they were, what they wanted to be.

But Jihoon knows what he wants now, but he's not even sure about what Woojin thinks. He needs clarity before it wholly eats him alive. So when Woojin doesn’t say anything, he continues.

“What are we because we almost kissed and never talked about it and then we _did_ kiss and never talked about that either and I don’t know what any of this means, but I’ve really liked you for a while now and I realised repressing it is only going to make me unhappy.”

“Jihoon—”

“And I know this might be selfish because I don’t know your mind or what you’re thinking but I need to know. I need to know because if it’s unrequited I’d rather move on and be friends with you because even then I wouldn't want us to stop being, you know, _us_.”

“ _Jihoon_ ,” he hears Woojin’s quiet voice at the other end of the line. But he can’t stop now that he’s started.

“I don’t even know what I want us to be. Can we even be together? Maybe this is just stupid no matter what I’m feeling, because having feelings doesn’t always mean wanting to be with each other? I don’t know, but it’s all just so—”

“Jesus fucking Christ, _Jihoon_ ,” Woojin says, voice loud and filled with something Jihoon can’t identify. Then, “Just… what the fuck. I— You know what, hold on. Hold on.”

And the line goes dead.

Jihoon has a lot of trouble processing the fact Park Woojin just hung up on him. Woojin had told him to hold on, whatever that means. So, he sits down on his couch in defeat, physically dizzy with his own thoughts.

He lies down, looks at his ceiling, and waits. There’s nothing much else to do than wait until Woojin calls him, or worse _texts_ , to reject him. Or something.

The _or something_ comes less than ten minutes later. Jihoon is just on the verge of texting the other that he shouldn’t bother, he gets it, and if they can please just be friends. But suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. And another one. And another one.

Jihoon looks at the clock. 10:30PM. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up and open the door for it to reveal the guard or one of the neighbours for something unimportant.

So when hears his favourite voice in the universe mutter a muffled “ _Jihoon, please open up”_ from the other side, his knees turn weak. 

“Okay,” Woojin starts the moment Jihoon unlocks the door. He steps in hurriedly without waiting for the invite and closes the door behind him before turning around and facing Jihoon. “I need to get this off of my chest because I have a schedule in the morning and you have your debut stage and I can tell you’ve been overthinking and I’ve been waiting for you to say something but I can’t do this over the phone and—”

Woojin takes a breath, the first one since he barged into Jihoon’s apartment. He looks at the other, who is watching him in stunned silence.

Truth is, Jihoon _was_ overthinking. He thought he had managed to hide it pretty well until now, but apparently Woojin has already learned to see through him without even _seeing_ him.

(And even if that wasn't the case, he  _might have_ made it a little obvious earlier.)

(That, or Daehwi exposed his tendencies to his bandmate once again.)

It doesn’t matter, because Woojin is standing across from him and steps forward, arms reaching back to slam the door of the apartment shut from the outside world. He grabs Jihoon’s shoulders so he can’t run even if he wanted to (and he kind of does if this is going where he thinks it is).

It’s quiet for a few seconds. Unfortunately, a few seconds are enough for Jihoon’s mind and thoughts to go back into crisis mode and unhelpfully present him every possible scenario in which this conversation ends bad.

Jihoon feels like his knees might give out any moment.

Woojin takes another deep breath, eyes finding Jihoon’s in the dimly-lit apartment.

“I want to be with you.”

Oh. _Oh_ _._

Jihoon doesn’t know what his face looks like. He imagines it to be part panic, part relief, and part _what the hell just happened am I dreaming am I.. What?!_

Woojin’s grip tightens on Jihoon’s shoulders as he takes another step closer.

“I want to be with you, Jihoon,” he repeats, voice even firmer. “And I think you want to be with me too, no matter how much your ramblings don't make sense.”

Jihoon just nods because his voice isn’t cooperating. He takes a deep breath, never losing Woojin’s eyes in the dim light. “I do,” he croaks eventually. Because he does.

“I’m usually not this bold, you know,” Woojin says, and boy does he know. This is worlds apart from the slightly awkward Woojin he met a few months ago, of the Woojin that Daehwi had described to him so often before all of this. “I know this is dangerous and risky but I want to be with you so much it would kill me to not at least _try_ , if you want to try too. We can go on dates and take each other out and no one will say anything because we’re boys and people will think we’re close friends and it’ll be alright. And I can hold your hand when it’s dark and we’re alone and I can kiss you when you visit me at practice or when I visit you here and—”

Jihoon can’t say anything, so does what he thinks is best in that moment instead.

He grabs Woojin by the collar of his shirt and kisses him.

It’s brief, just a press of his lips against Woojin’s. Brief and sweet and a little bit anxious, but full of those _feelings_ Jihoon has been holding back nonetheless.

Woojin looks at him in stunned silence when they pull away. “I might take that as a yes, but we should talk about this.”

How Jihoon manages to find his voice back is a miracle in itself, let alone the fact he manages to croak out more than a yes or a no. “It is...a yes. I- I want us to be together,” he says. “Let me take you on a date, a real one. I promised you dinner, no? Let’s go on a real date instead of all these dates disguised as practices.”

The smile Woojin gives him is just as blinding as it always is, except this time it makes Jihoon feels everything he usually does multiplied by a hundred. “I’d like that,” the younger says, before taking both of Jihoon’s hands in one hand each and interlocking their fingers.

“Yeah?”

Woojin nods. “Yeah,” he affirms, before leaning forward and capturing Jihoon’s lips again.

Their kiss is firm this time. It’s more sure, certain. It holds the same desire as it did the first time, but none of the anxiety of the second one. Woojin wraps Jihoon in his arms, and Jihoon thinks this is the most secure he’s ever felt.

“As much as I’d like to continue this, I should head back. I kind of left my members and manager waiting in the van downstairs.”

“Daehwi is going to kick your ass,” Jihoon answers as he reluctantly untangles himself from Woojin’s embrace. “Tell him to come fight me instead.”

Woojin briefly pecks his lips again. “Will do. I’ll protect you, though.”

Jihoon thinks his cheeks are going to start hurting soon from smiling so much. He feels a lot lighter, as if a lot of the weight from the past few weeks entirely disappeared.

Perhaps, it did.

Woojin opens the door, but turns around one more time to give Jihoon one more kiss. “Good luck tomorrow,” he says, before stepping out and giving Jihoon the _softest_ look in existence, probably.

He’s still stressed, still carrying a huge burden when it comes to tomorrow. But he’s glad he has a certified good luck charm by the name of Park Woojin by his side.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon looks at the clock. Twenty minutes before the show starts.

He tries calming his nerves, and it goes a lot better than expected. He bathes in the feelings of last night, allows them to distract him for a little bit longer. Seongwoo gives him a single raised eyebrow when Jihoon takes a seat next to him in the waiting room, gives him a smile, and says: “Hey, thank you.”

It takes a few moments for the older to puzzle the pieces together, but when he does, Jihoon sees a satisfied grin on Seongwoo’s face. “Took you long enough,” he says, and Jihoon is about to respond when he notices Seongwoo isn’t looking _at_ him, but _behind_ him.

“You’re going to do great, you know.” A voice that sounds a lot like Woojin’s rings through his mind as Jihoon feels someone squeeze his shoulder.

He turns around and oh, it _is_ Woojin. Jihoon hadn’t expected him to come, because Woojin had quite literally said he had a schedule, but here he is.

“You came,” Jihoon says, as to make sure this isn’t a dream.

“I did,” Woojin responds, gaze full of mirth.

“Yikes,” Seongwoo butts in, “I’ll leave you two to it, then.” Before he gets up and walks over to Hyungseob on the other side, who is giving his brightest, toothiest grin to Woojin and Jihoon.

Woojin sits down next to him and takes Jihoon’s hand in his own. “My schedule wasn’t too far away from here, so I came as soon as it ended,” he says, squeezing the other’s hand. “Are you ready for your big moment?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.”

“I believe in you. Always have.”

They sit there, in comfortable silence, everything that needed to be said having been said, as the wait. When one of the crew members comes and calls Wanna Be to backstage, Woojin gives him one last squeeze before giving him a smile and thumbs up.

When he gets on stage and in position, Jihoon stops thinking about expectations and judgement. When the lights dim, he doesn’t think of the possibility of missing a step or forgetting his lyrics.

When the music starts, he stops thinking altogether and lets his body move on its own.

 

 

He barely makes it back to the dressing room before he’s pulled into a bone-crushing hug. “Told you you could do it!” That’s Woojin. Definitely Woojin.

Because who else could it be?

“Couldn’t have done it without you,” Jihoon whispers, and hugs Woojin even tighter. “Thank you.”

They stay like that for a while, but not long enough for the people around them to get suspicious. Woojin pulls away and grabs Jihoon’s face with both hands. “Don’t give up on dancing. I know acting is your thing, but you were great up there too, so don’t give it up again.”

Jihoon can only nod. He feels himself getting red and he’d rather look anywhere else but at Woojin so he can calm his heartbeat. It’s impossible though, because Woojin’s face is so close and his hands are on Jihoon’s cheeks. “I won’t,” he says, “Give it up again, I mean.”

It's a quiet promise, but it's the truth. After Woojin left last night, he's been thinking again — about other things this time around. He'd been giving it some thought from before, but last night he finally allowed himself to _consider_. Maybe he can back into this, even if it's just dancing as a hobby. Maybe they can even do a second season of Boy Next Door, because Jihoon wouldn't want to do this with anybody else in the world. Their music video was receiving a lot of praise and their song is even charting, so it's a good sign.

The other boy cracks a smile, his snaggletooth coming out and wow, Jihoon really, _really_ likes Woojin so much. Woojin, who was just Daehwi's really good-looking and talented groupmate just a few months ago. Woojin, who's been patient with him and helped him rediscover the things he thought he'd lost.

“Good. Meet me whenever you want to dance,” he says and Jihoon nods at that and briefly closes his eyes with a smile. He doesn’t see Woojin leaning in closer, so when he opens his eyes and Woojin is _right there_ he feels a small wave of panic surge through him. They’re public figures, holy shit.

But Woojin just leans closer and pulls Jihoon into another hug. When he starts to whisper something in Jihoon’s ear, the older can’t help but shiver. “And if you want to do...uh...other things… you are just as welcome.”

If Jihoon could get any more red, he would be by now. Luckily he’s still sweaty so if someone (Seongwoo, most _definitely_ Seongwoo) has something to say about it later he can blame it on the adrenaline. He lets out a laugh that is both filled with endearment and embarrassment.

But Woojin isn’t done. “Plus,” the boy says, “you still owe me a date, so yeah.” before pulling away and grinning at him once more.

“I guess I do,” Jihoon answers, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck.

“Very well then. I’ll see you around!” Woojin says as he steps back and _God_ , did he just wink at Jihoon? The older doesn’t have the time to ponder on it very much because he gets whisked away by Seonho and Hyungseob who are cheering in his ear. He sees Woojin bow at them politely before sending one last wave in Jihoon’s direction.

 

As Jihoon hops into the van to go home later that night he takes out his phone to text Woojin. He hadn’t had the time to do so earlier, with the staff insisting they go out for dinner to celebrate a successful wrap-up to their show and having had to do a their final closing interviews before that.

They had promised to hang out and gather soon. And while empty promises often remain empty promises, Jihoon believes it this time.

Jisung tells him to buckle up for the ride home, and gently pats his shoulder as they drive off. “That wasn’t so bad now, was it?”

It wasn’t. Jihoon doesn't have to say it because he knows Jisung knows.

Endings, they still feel surreal. Jihoon doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it.

But endings mean new beginnings.

He starts typing a new message, a grin on his face. 

 

> **[9:31PM]** _So, about that date._

 

Send.

Woojin answers within the minute, like he had been waiting for Jihoon to text him first.

 

> **_Woojinie ♡_ ** **[9:32PM]:** _What about it? :-)_

 

Jihoon chuckles and starts typing a response, but another text comes in. 

 

> **_Woojinie ♡_ ** **[9:32PM]:** _Actually, is it okay if we just get takeout? I kind of enjoy it when it’s just us..._

 

Jihoon feels his cheeks heat up. Jisung, being his observant self, obviously notices as well. “Look at you, being your lovestruck teenager self,” he says with a voice full of amusement.

He wisely decides not to respond to that. 

 

> **[9:34PM]** _Well I’m heading back now so if you want to, we can meet up or something?_
> 
> **[9:34PM]** _Unless it’s already too late tonight?_
> 
> **[9:34PM]** _(Takeout is more than okay)_

 

Jihoon isn’t used to being straightforward either. With Woojin though, he feels braver than he’s ever felt. So before he changes his mind, he sends another text.  

 

> **[9:35PM]** _I just want to see you as quickly as possible_

 

He pockets his phone with a smile on his face and a loud beating heart. Something vibrates when he shifts in his seat and he’s not sure if it’s just the friction of his pants or if Woojin already responded.

Turns out, it _is_ Woojin responding, and Jihoon reads the text about three times before promptly asking Jisung if they’re almost there, which earns him a reply about _patience being a virtue and road safety, my friend_.  

 

> **_Woojinie ♡_ ** **[9:38PM]:** _Well hurry up then. I’m in the lobby of your apartment complex with fried chicken and a movie and I also kind of really want to kiss you again_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand it's done! if you're still here reading this, thank you /so/ much.  
> this is my first (finished, published) work in a long time and it was a huge leap but i'm glad i did it!  
> thanks again to jisungverse for the amazing prompt and to my friend jenny for being the best person and my #1 source of support through this journey!
> 
> title is from loona's uncover... maybe if 2park stanned loona they wouldn't have been so dense idk :/
> 
> feel free to leave a comment, be it good or bad or critical or total gibberish. any kind of feedback is more than welcome because there's always room for me to improve! feedback and (constructive) criticism is always welcome and greatly appreciated! ♡  
> once again, thank you for reading. ♡  
> [multifandom twt](https://twitter.com/mijoo) | [fic twt](https://twitter.com/bunssos)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/myung)


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